Beck

Yesterday we said good-bye to Beck the Cat. We had her for much longer than we could have hoped, but in the last week or so she started deteriorating significantly. To the point where, on Tuesday morning, we made the call.

There is a local cat vet who will make house calls. We (well, Best Guy) has used him for years as both Beck and Bauer do not travel well, and the carriers are highly traumatic for them both. Yesterday morning, he came to the house, and released Beck of her broken body.

Bauer, her litter mate and never apart from her for 18 years, was our greatest concern. We didn't know how he would be without her. So far, he seems just fine. He has been distancing himself from her for about a month now, preferring to spend his time with us. We think he said good-bye a while ago.

We spent most of Tuesday confirming to each other that we made the right call. When the Vet got here yesterday, he picked her up and immediately said "smells like kidney failure." So, in addition to the cancer eating away at her mouth, she was in fact shutting down. So, we made the right call.

The energy has changed in the house. The tension that was here for so long is gone. We are hoping that our two remaining animals (Bauer the Cat and Toby the Dog) will find some kind of truce. Of course, that remains to be seen. But now that I am the Lady of the House, it would seem things have eased.

We spent a large portion of yesterday washing everything that Beck had touched, because even five minutes of her on something left a deep stench. I ended up doing five (!) loads of laundry yesterday, and Best Guy took carpet cleaner to a couple couches and a rocking chair. I burned some sage in the rooms where she spent the most time, and then some aroma therapy in a diffuser to help clean the air.

We miss her. I miss her. She was my first "in" to this family. Bauer will accept anyone who will let him on their lap, but Beck? I needed her approval before I was truly part of the family. And boy, did she accept me in. By the time I'd been in the picture for a year, she was sleeping either on my head on under the blankets curled up in my arm pit with her head resting on my arm. Behaviors I'm told never existed in her history prior to my arrival.

I have not felt her presence since she left, but I don't think that means she's gone for good. Rather, being free of something that tied her down for so long, she soared. Good for her.

But her absence is felt. And we miss her very much.




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