Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Yes.... I am, in Fact, Judging You

I never thought I would be using this space to chronicle my thoughts and feelings regarding the state of the Nation. I have always steared very clear of politics; I never found it of interest or relevence to my every day life, and have a tendency to approach the whole thing with a state of mind that would make Fox Mulder proud.

But these days, it is so very hard to not be engaged on some level. My Facebook newsfeed is filled with people rallying to make their voices heard, and stories about hate crimes.

I am so sad.

It saddens me that so many are seeing this election as permission to finally let all of their hate spew out in the open, unapologetically and proudly. That there is still so much hate out there at all. That people cannot see each other as human beings, with the same needs and desires of every human being.

It saddens me even more that the one person who could and should be saying "hey people, not okay. This isn't what I meant!" isn't saying a damned thing.

Because it is what he meant.

I have been doing my best to approach things from a non-judgemental place and to move beyond what happened to create a better place. But it is getting increasingly difficult.

I have posted this Metta Prayer image before in times of hurt and strife. I do truly wish it and want it for all. This is last part of a longer prayer that starts out wishing all this for one's self, one you love, a stranger, and one who causes strife. You end by extending these blessings out to all beings everywhere.

I am finding it very hard to extend these postive, lovingkindess feelings to those I know didn't intend for this wave of hate to sweep over this Nation when they cast their vote. I am trying to hold in my mind and heart that they were hoping for change and better opportunities.

However, these days I am finding this one to fit my mood a little more:

There cannot be anymore dismissals of racist, mysoginist, generally assholey jokes and conversations.

Because they aren't joking.

It is time to call people on what they are saying and doing. Or worse, their silence in the face of hate. It is time to stand up and say this is not okay.

And while I am trying desperately to accept and move on from the choices some of my friends have made - people I love and respect very much - I can't help but look at them and ask: Is this what you meant to happen? Are you okay with this?

Because you shouldn't be.

You should be speaking up against it too.

And if you aren't, you should be taking a very hard look in the mirror.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

One Week Later.

Some voices have gotten louder, some softer. Some, oddly silent.

Some have discovered civil disobedience. Being vocal and visible have become their callings, and they are embracing it.

Others have gone very deeply inward. We struggle to know what our place in this is. We know there is a place for us, but big and loud goes against every fiber of existence.

Where do we fit in? How can we make a difference?

The thing to remember is that even little, quiet, small things can and do make a difference. Don't let the loud and passionate dissuade you from this. Those who can embrace the outward can sometimes forget to see that small change is equally effective. However, the movement has to be there. One cannot simply sit there and think about it without action (which can be the downside to being inward; we forget to move!). 

Figure out what your change can be. What is something you can reasonably do? Maybe it is going to marches. Maybe it is calling elected officials offices and voicing your opinion. Maybe it is making donations to Planned Parenthood in the name of someone looking to take away women's rights. 

Perhaps what you can do is larger. Or smaller. It doesn't matter. That it is something you can offer up with confidence (even shaky) and good intent is what is important. 

What am I doing? Still figuring it out. I am looking seriously into taking some martial arts classes. Not only do I want to be able to defend myself, I want to be able to stand up for others who may need it. 

I am also more determined then ever to figure out how to garden. Not only so I can keep my family healthy, but so I can share the bounty with others who may find themselves in need. 

I am also finding myself holding a safe space for those who come to my practice. There, they can vent, they can release, they can process. They are accepted as they are in the moment, no judgement.

Once again, it goes back to Community. We stand up for each other, we surround each other, we nuture each other. Each one brings a different talent to the group, and each talent supports the whole.

This is something we can do.

Many people made choices out of anger and fear and hope for something different. They made choices protesting a broken system. Many were either unaware or simply ignorant of the massive pain, frustration, and dissatisfaction of others and continued on, happy in the bubbles. Far too many decided that overlooking a few things to get their way would be preferable to the alternative.

The bubble has burst, and has laid bare what has been under the surface for far longer than any of us care to admit. And looking at the boiling mess is fucking painful. We all thought we'd come so far. We wanted to believe we fought the good fight and were moving forward. Women's rights? Check. Civil Rights? Check. 

We were wrong.

The fight begins now.

I don't care if you wear a safety pin or link arms in Washington, DC. You know someone who will be directly affected by the changing winds. 

Be the community they need.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Community. Now, More Than Ever.

I have a lot of thoughts swirling around my brain this morning.

Let me preface by saying I have come down with a cold, so last night I took some Nyquil and thankfully slept through pretty much everything. I do recall Best Guy coming in at one point, sitting on my side of the bed and saying "He took Florida and Ohio. Ohio!" But honestly, it's a bit of a blur.

My Facebook feed has been interesting. It is full of fear and anger, from all sides. There are voices, however, coming through loud and clear that say "what is the next step?"

Those are the voices I'm longing to hear.

Those are the voices that are saying "Ok, here's what we've got to work with. What can we do?"

They are saying "We see and hear what has been said in anger and fear. People have asked for a change catalyst, and they've gotten it. What can we do to ensure that this change benefits us as a Nation?"

I keep coming back to the idea of Community. Now, more than ever, it is such an important construct. Coming together for a common goal. Coming together to support, nurture, stand for, and grow.

I also believe that this is the time where many of us, who have been working on the small scale of bringing about change will now have to stand and be counted. We will have to stand to protect our friends and family who may well see their civil rights stripped away. Those of us with societal privelege (straight, white, male) will need to stand up and stand with. Quiet voices will no longer be heard. Subtlety is not something that will be recognized. Bold, empowered, blunt... that is what will get the job done.

The next four years have the unique opportunity to bring about massive, positive societal change (although to be fair I don't think it will happen like the majority of voters thought it would). Over the next few years, odds are good many populations currently relying on government systems to help them survive will be left (some literally) in the cold. It is time for the communities to step up and step in and prove that we still give a shit.

How will I Stand? I have no idea. In the immediate, the most I can do is be there for my friends who are literally scared for their lives right now. I can hold in my heart those whom I don't agree yet are still loving, caring human beings who want nothing more than the world to be a better place. Because, yes, both of these can inhabit the same place at the same time.

We are ALL human beings, trying to make our way in this world. It is time to move forward. In peace, in love, in strength.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016


Here we are.... November 1st. It's been a hell of a year for everyone, both good and bad. In 2016, I find myself in a place I never thought I'd be: a married owner of a private practice. I know many others have struggled this past year and frankly can't wait for December 31, 2016 to go the way of the DoDo.

I thought now would be a very good time to take a moment and reflect upon my many gratitudes.

1. Always first on my list.... Best Guy. My poor tiny human heart cannot adequately hold nor can my words express how very grateful I am for this man.

2. Beck the Cat is still with us. She's still eating.... a little. She's still drinking... a little. She's still vocal... a little. She still cuddles.... a little. She wasn't supposed to make it to Halloween, yet here we are. I am continually grateful for every stinky cuddle she is still willing to participate in

3. Moving my private practice to its new location. Not only am I surrounded by other incredible practitioners willing to trade (I just had my first acupuncture treatment... highly recommend!), I've been able to increase my availability, visibility, and reach. I've only been there three weeks and already my practice is increasing exponentially. I am excited for the future.

4. My dance sisters. I love them dearly and I am always excited to create and converse with these magickal ladies. They make me want to explore and improve myself and my abilities and they lift me up in a way that is humbling.

5. My wonderful family. My family size shrunk so dramatically in the 00's, but I find that it is slowly creeping back again. I have a brother in law, a nephew, parents-in-laws, brothers from other mothers, sister out laws, and friends of cousins being "adopted" into the family. All this in addition to my family family.

This is just a short list. My blessing are long. I am grateful.

Better Kate Than Never

As you've probably noticed (all six of you), over the last few months my contribution to this blog has dwindled significantly. In trying...