Monday, July 25, 2016


I am trying an experiment this week. I am (mostly) unplugging from Facebook. I'm not going 100% like Best Guy, who has temporarily deactivated his account. Because I use it as my main marketing tool, it doesn't make sense to completely ignore it for a week. But for the week, I am off Facebook by 9am, and that's the last I check in for 24 hours. If anyone needs to get in touch, they know how. And if they don't know how, they shouldn't be getting in touch anyway.

I'm doing this for a few reasons:

1. Facebook is a huge time suck. You get lost in the posts and discussions and arguments. You log on to google something important and relevant, and the next thing you know you've spent 30 minutes on Facebook and you still don't have that pertinent info, because you forgot to search for it.

2. I feel like I've become a little too reliant on it. Reliant? Addicted? Well, maybe a little more the latter. Bored? Check the news feed. Feeling lonely? Check in on Facebook, someone will respond to you if you post something. Eating lunch? Might as well get on Facebook instead of paying attention to what I'm doing. I fully expect to go through some withdrawls by the time I hit 3pm this afternoon.

3. All. The. Damned. Politics. OMFG. Seriously. People posting information, mis-information, quotes, misquotes, declarations of lucidity and lucricity. I just cannot cope with it anymore. It is overwhelming and anxiety inducing and I just do not want to expose myself to the negativity anymore.

What am I going to do with all my free time? Probably go nuts. But I hear that passes after a day or so. I'm hoping to spend more time outside, more time reading all of these books I've accumulated and put off, maybe learn a little something along the way. Maybe (gasp) get out of the house. Maybe (gasp gasp) exercise.

I think I'm going to need to pace myself.

This is where I'll be for the next week. Ahhhhhh.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Insecurity Makes you Write Weird Shit.

This has been a tough month for me business wise. I think July tends to be when you're in a massage private practice; people are traveling or otherwise on vacation and the weather is just so beautiful that the idea of being inside is almost painful.

So why does it feel like I'm the only one not working?

Why do I feel like an abject failure?

Why do I feel like this was a bad idea?

What was I thinking, that I could be enough, that I was good enough, that I was worthy enough to go it on my own?

What was I thinking... that I could be a success?

Silly me.


What this really means is... I'm right on schedule. I've made it through the celebratory "I did it!" phase and I have officially moved in to the "why the hell did I do this?!" phase.

Building a clientele takes time. Especially when you are be selectful with whom you wish to work. But it does happen. It does not make me any less of a therapist.

It is, however, making me take a long, hard look at my own personal social anxieties and learned dread around all things marketing; a key thing if I want to get my business out there. These are the things I've struggled to overcome in the last 10 years. I worked very hard to come out of my shy shell, to put myself out there and interact with people. I like to feel I've come a very long way.

Ironically enough, I also feel in some ways I'm backtracking. In doing additional work to become more in tune with energies, intuition, and my empathic nature (all to further help my clients) I have found that I have less tolerance for many social environments. I become overwhelmed, unable to focus, and have had to leave a few situations rather abruptly because I simply couldn't stand to be there any more.

Wah Wah Wah moan moan moan pity poor little me.

Uh-huh. So... how's that compassion for self coming along? She asked, eyebrow raised.

I think what this all boils down to is that I really need to cut myself a break. All things in their own time. That's the truth of it. I am not doing anything wrong. I am searching for a way to do this practice on my terms. And it is a practice. Even if the goal is to become a successful business owner. It is still a practice.

I guess I need more practice at practicing.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Project 251: We Who Are About to Rock Salute You

This past weekend Best Guy and band had a couple of gigs in New Hampshire. We thought we were going to take a leisurely stroll down, but by the time we got Toby dropped off at doggie daycare and ate lunch, we lost an hour. So, we only got three towns in. Also, we forgot about the Friday Coastal Commute. Luckily, we made all the gigs on time, and even got to dip our toes in the Atlantic.

For your viewing pleasure... :

78: Royalton. We found out after the fact (like today) that one of our friends
was literally down the street from us while we took it. D'oh!

79: Pomfret. Technically we were there, as this picture proves. However,
as this is as far as we got, we feel like we need to go back and spend
some quality time there if we want to uphold the spirit of this adventure.

80: Sharon. 

This doesn't have a number as it isn't in Vermont. Saturday morning
we were able to get to Long Beach, York, ME for some quality
Atlantic Ocean time. I want to go back. I want to go back now.

We took Best Guy's fancy camera with us and I used it to take some action shots during their Friday night gig. I've got to say, I had a lot of fun using this camera and I'm stoked that so many shots came out well. Not all inclusive, but here are a select few of the guys in action:

Monday, July 11, 2016

Project 251: Home Town Edition

This past weekend, we dropped Toby Dog off at day care and headed up to my Mom's. It was a quick, rainy trip but it was fun. There was a Jazz Fest going on up in Newport, and it was heartening to see so many people about. I've been watching my home town slowly die for the last decade or so, and with the horrible scandal that left a literal hole in the ground on Main Street it seemed like it was time to write the whole place off. Luckily, there are a lot of people up there who care deeply and want to see it succeed. Keep up the good work!

Best Guy was in particular form when writing the captions for the Facebook crowd, so if you see quotes around it, blame credit goes to him.

71: Johnson. "Their food is sure to give you blazing saddles."

#72: Eden. "Ok, let's try this again but with Adam and KATE.
And we need to be clear about that rule about the apple."

#73: Lowell. I don't know. Don't ask.

#74: Westfield. ""Adam! I said, 'they're serving the brisket now!' Turn your hearing aid on and let's go!""

#75: Troy. There were better pictures to take. But I was out-voted. So we have this.

#76: Newport City. My home town! It was raining pretty heavily at this point,
so we basically just walked down a bit from where we had lunch to take this.

#77: Newport Town. Also known more commonly as Newport Center,
so this was a tough picture to get. From BG: "If I'd grown up in Newport
I am certain that I would go 
into the school and ask for my eighteen meals.
And I'd have eaten them all. Because I'm 
as much a smart ass as I am a fat ass. "

To all my friends and family who still live and work in the area... I apologize. Not quite sure for what, but I feel I'm better off saying it now. 

Friday, July 8, 2016

When Your Heart Aches

This was originally posted on my blog over at Triskele Wellness about a month ago. It is still painfully relevant now. Perhaps more so. It feels sometimes like the anger, fear, and pain are coming to a tipping point. Something really big is going to happen soon. I'd prefer to believe that it is going to be a really big GOOD thing, where people are going to start seeing each other for the beings they are, but I fear that in order to get to this wonderful point, something really terrible is going to happen. And my heart grieves.


Growing up, the world stopped at 6pm, when the local news came on. In the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont, that meant just one station came through with any clarity. Unless, of course, we wanted to watch the Canadian news. Or better yet, the French Canadian news.

After the hour of local news came the half hour of National News. Usually by then I had already retreated either outside or to my room, as the whole thing felt too adult and boring to me. I was a child, after all. A child who had never known anything outside of the Northeast Kingdom. I barely had a concept of Vermont’s main city (Burlington), let alone New York, Florida, or California. International? Forget about it. You might as well have been talking about Narnia or Wonderland.

Today, we have more news channels than we can count. We have 24 hour access to anything and everything on our phones. International is no longer a fairy tale place. It is next door and available in real time, if we want it. So many of us say that the world has gotten more violent, more dangerous. However, I think the reality is closer to the fact that we have more access to what is going on in the world.

The world is a smaller place, and “being informed” has become “being overwhelmed”.

Which is why I stopped watching the news about 15 years ago.

My heart ached as I watched human beings going through unimaginable horrors. As I watched human beings commit unimaginable horrors. News machines reporting the same half-stories for days on end, with no new information to give filled me with unending anxiety and fear. It boggled my mind that one human could do such things to another. I found myself believing the worst in anyone and everyone.

I didn’t want to believe the worst in people any more. I didn’t want to live in fear. I didn’t want to live in hate and anger.

I now have greater control over what comes into my awareness. Instead of being uncontrollably bombarded, I pick and choose where I get my information and how much of it I can handle before I need to step away. I trust that if there is something I need information about, it will get to me. And it does.

This is self-care.

I know terrible things continue to happen. I grieve for those who are dealing with the immediacy and aftermath of those events. I applaud those who go to the places that need help. Their heart and minds are holding up those suffering. They are providing care and hope and love to those who are in the far away. It is their mission, their life’s purpose.

In this life, I have chosen to help those within my reach. In order to best serve, I must keep my heart, my energy, and my attention here.

When we spread ourselves too thin and allow ourselves to be bogged down in things we can do nothing about, we lose our focus, we lose our path. We become mired in what others project upon us.

Ghandi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Change starts here, now. Practice kindness. See each person as a human being and connected to all. I cannot affect the problems in the Middle East. I can, however, smile and enjoy the company of Muslim friends. I can hug my gay friends who are reeling from the tragedy in Florida. I can hold my brothers and sisters of color up and support them in vocalizing their anger over the continued brutality they face on a daily basis.

My heart still aches when I hear of tragedies. But I no longer allow myself to become mired in the unending “news” feed. Each of us needs to understand our limits and honor when we’ve been fed enough “information.” We each need to decide what we’re going to do about it. Whether you choose Do on a grand scale or a small, it makes a difference.

Turn off the news, go into the World. That is where change happens.

Imagine Peace. Manifest Peace. Spread that shit everywhere.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Project 251: Independence Edition

Originally we were going to have a garage sale this weekend. When we got our stuff together, we realized that 1) we wouldn't make enough money to bother with it and 2) neither of us wanted to pull together a garage sale. So we're going to donate everything. Eventually.

In the mean time, we decided to knock off a few more towns. It is getting harder and harder to do day trips without having to drive an hour to get to our first location. Luckily this time of year, that's no hard thing.

We went out of our way to get to Buel's Gore. Its a little triangle piece with literally
nothing there but a scenic overlook. Turns out... it's not on the official 251 list. D'oh!
There were a few other Gores we looked at after this to discover they are on the list either.
This makes the adventure a LOT easier because these suckers are not easy to find!

#66 Waitsfield. We happened upon a thriving farmer's market that was in its last half hour.
We wandered around initially looking for some food, but it was crowded and crazy there.
We ended up at a cute little cafe just behind it, with cookies the size of your face. Nom.

#67: Fayston. Toby's first 251 picture and our first dump truck. Now,
all we need is a police car, a fire truck, and an ambulance.

#68: Warren. This place was dripping with red, white, and blue bunting. I have
a sneaky suspicion we either just missed the parade or it was shortly to start.

#69 Roxbury. The senior center/community hall looks like it was taken
out of an old west film. It's pretty awesome.

#70 Northfield. Best Guy's caption: "The ELITE Dental Force Duo is READY FOR ACTION!"

Stay tuned! There are going to be lots of 251 pictures this month, mainly because we're going up to my Mum's next week and then heading south to New Hampshire the following week. Lots of opportunities to cross towns off the list.

In the mean time, I hope everyone has an awesome July 4th!

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