Monday, May 2, 2016

Tangents. Get Your Random Tangents. Three for the Price of One!

I've had lots of disparate thoughts running through my head the last week or so. This may get kind of jumbled.

1. I am so, so sick of all things bridal. Not our wedding - I'm super excited for that. But bridal stuff in general... hurk. For a long time I was super into Offbeat Bride, because at least it wasn't all frothy and white. But I'm at the point where it feels like even they are just part of the larger Wedding Conglomerate. I never thought that I would be the one so anti-wedding, because I do love glamming myself up in pretties and sparklies. But for some reason it's getting to me. And we're having a super fun, non-traditional, relaxed affair and it has been 98% drama free. I mean.... how much luckier can a person planning such things be?

I was never the kind of girl to plan my wedding. I played dress up all the time, but weddings? Never that I can remember. But I gotta tell you, I've gotten so sick of pictures of women in wedding dresses trying to look shy and demure, and equally as sick of each "This will blow your mind!" post. I mean come on, you are not the only person to think of a Harry Potter wedding. Sorry.

Here ends my wedding rant. Thank you for listening.

2. My last day at my spa job was on Saturday. On the one hand, it feels really, really good to know that I can devote more time to developing my personal practice. On the other hand, because Toby is still suffering from some attachment issues and, as we discovered this weekend, has not been socialized either with other people or dogs, keenly feeling the inability to leave the house. Toby is not yet at the point where we can leave him alone for any kind of stretch, and Best Guy can't be working from home anymore unless he has a good reason. So this means most of the training is now on me.

I have never fucking trained a dog in my life.

Don't get me wrong... I want him to succeed and be happy and healthy with us. But I am also looking ahead and wondering how I will: go to the office to do work for my business; take my car to get the oil changed; go get a massage on my birthday; leave the house to go to the grocery store or do chores; leave the house for a mid-day yoga class. I can't even bring him for walks on the bike path because he barks at every person who goes by.

Until we get him trained to not bark at people and to be comfortable being alone for any kind of stretch, I'm pretty much stuck at home from 7:50 to 4:45 with no relief. Anyone who says I'm not a stay-at-home parent right now is going to get socked in the teeth. I've already gotten into the wine that was supposed to be for the wedding. I regret nothing.

The only way out is through. Which means we are taking that dog out and about
and living our lives. Because in the long run, that's better for everyone. Damn, we're a cute family. 

3. I have to keep reminding myself that I did not quit the spa job without another job lined up. Just the opposite! I am employed. I am self-employed. Which is exciting and scary. I had a slight break down last week in regards to taxes. Luckily a friend was able to talk me off the cliff, but I still have a way to go before I feel comfortable with that aspect of things. People keep telling me to hire an accountant. Which would be great if my business could afford that. I'm stoked I was able to pay rent this month from the business account. There is no money for an accountant right now. Believe me, if I could pay someone else to do this for me I would.

Still, I am very much looking forward to growing my private practice. I am excited to be able to do the treatments that speak to me, that help me help others the best. I've done a couple of my integrated treatments already (combining Reiki/Energy Work and Massage) and they've been phenomenal experiences. I can't wait to do more!

So I guess that's it. I'm pretty much a ball of anxiety these days.

A primal scream or twelve would do me good. But I think it would scare the neighbors.

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