Showing posts from February, 2016

Doing the Thing that Scares You

I am officially a state- and federal-recognized LLC.


That is right. I braved the online forms. I yelled at the online forms. I panicked over the online forms. I yelled at Best Guy through the computer who was pushing me to finish the online forms.

I did it.

When I was going through massage school, part of the curriculum was coming up with a business plan. I suffered through that for the first half of the program, dealing with the frustration, anxiety and anger each time I had to work on it. Finally, I realized that this wasn't working for me and my teachers allowed me to switch to a career plan instead.

Going out on my own like this is not something I ever thought I would do, and never planned on doing it. I was going to be successful in working for others. I didn't have a problem with doing so, and it allowed me the freedom from responsibility.

I feel like, for so much of my life, I was always the responsible one. I was the person to do the things that needed to b…

Calming the Frak Down

Since deciding to move forward with my private practice and taking those (to me, huge) steps, in addition to seeing the busiest week at work I've had in a long time, in addition addition to keeping up with my regular, mundane chores, in addition addition addition to planning a wedding, I have been feeling crazy nuts for doing this a tad overwhelmed.

In order to stay within the confines of sanity (ha ha), I have been implementing a few ideas/steps to keep me a tad more grounded/present:

Eating as healthy as possible: Because this work week has been very, very busy I find that I need to actually eat four meals in a day in order to not come home and eat the couch. Since my first "meal" is usually a fruit smoothie in the morning, this works out well. I have been doing my best to be protein, fruit and veggie heavy, with whole grains and minimal breads. No Doritos allowed. Although chocolate is, because sanity.Finding time for reading or creating: In doing a lot of DIY stuff fo…

Moving Forward: Scary as [Every Swear Word Ever Invented]

Today I took a huge step forward. Today, I agreed to sub-let a beautiful massage space in a building I've always wanted to work in. It is a six-month lease to start, and it will be for just three days. The hours are such that I won't have to give up any shifts at my current employer, which is a good thing because eating is awesome.

But yeah... after almost a year of saying it and being too scared to move forward, I was presented with something that was just perfect for me, and saying anything other than yes would have been folly.

So now I am scrambling to pull myself together in time for March 1st, where I get to be my own entity. At least for a few hours each week.

It is scary and exciting and overwhelming, but it is also very simple. It is a step forward. It is a step into my future. And it is a step towards where I want to be and what I want to be doing.

Those are all good steps to be taking.

Project 251: Getting Out of Dodge

This past weekend, we took advantage of Best Guy's tax return and planned a quick weekend away. We were both feeling a little house-bound, so we reserved a room at a B&B in Montpelier Saturday night with the idea that we would spend Sunday doing some 251 towns before heading home. Montpelier is just an hour south of us on the interstate, but sometimes that's all you need to feel like you've shaken things up a bit.

We had a grand time. We headed down after I got home from work. We spent some time walking around town before heading out to dinner at a little pub and then a trivia night the next town over. Ironically enough, despite losing the entire evening we ended up winning the trivia contest. Who knew? We won a couple gift certificates to the cafe it was held in, so coffee there was our first stop Sunday morning. And now... on to the magic that is 251:

Of course... there are always some extra shots:

When Justification is Cold Comfort

I finally received all of my W2s last week and for the first time was able to do a little math. You know that poverty line? Yeah, I was below it.

Which on the one hand makes me feel justified in being so freaked out about finances last year.

And on the other hand makes me feel tired and angry. Because in so many other places in this world, I'd be considered wealthy. The injustice that my money would go so far and help so many people elsewhere yet would have left me homeless and struggling here in this country of "plenty" is weighing on my conscious.

We have so much here, and yet so little.

It is tiring to constantly have to flounder about in a broken system, knowing that however bad it is, it could be a lot worse. It makes you feel guilty for being upset that you have so little when so many others have so much less and would kill to have whatever little I had. Yet what little I had wasn't enough to support me last year.

There is no winning. No one should have to stru…

Crazy Days, Yo. Crazy Days.

Once again just realized how quickly the time is rushing past by looking at my last post date. Let's see what I can come up with. It's going to be a highly random list. So don't say I didn't warn you.

1. I have been dealing with a lingering ick for almost the entire month of January. The bronchitis is pretty much gone, but due to the fact the lymphs etc in my throat would not fracking drain it went up into my ears. And my tongue hurt, for frak's sake. Like I'd sprained it or something. It got so bad that Saturday night I was thisclose to having Best Guy take me to an urgent care facility. In the end, the fact that we'd both waste hours and money to have the doctor tell me to take more Advil was just not worth it. Instead, BG suggested I take a Benadryl and holy frak that knocked me out and I got the first full night's sleep I'd had in almost a month.

The good news is that my everything in my throat has finally gone back to normal, and my tongue is n…