Thursday, November 12, 2015

A Moratorium on Intentional Massive Life Shifts

This has been a tense, sad week in this household.

No, Best Guy and I are fine. Stronger than ever. No worries there.

Not only have we been dealing with the fall-out of me giving notice, we have also come to the heart-breaking decision that we need to return Flynn. She has aggressively gone after the cats four times in a 24 hour period. We fear that this is not something that can be trained out of her; it is simply her nature to go after small things that run away. It's fun.

Between the stress of the job and this unfortunate turn of events, I spent a lot of time last night bawling. Not crying; bawling my ever-loving eyes out until my nose was so stuffed I couldn't breathe. In fact, my eyes still feel weird this morning which makes me wonder if I was crying in my sleep.

While walking Flynn last night after coming to our decision, we reflected on how many massive life changes have happened to us in the last 14 months (in no particular order):

  • Falling madly in love
  • Getting a divorce
  • Selling a home
  • Buying a home
  • Moving (twice for me)
  • Quitting a job
  • Finding a new job, then finding a second job
  • Renovations
  • Loss of a loved one
  • Deciding to start a new business
  • Getting engaged
  • Travel
Pretty much all the things that test a relationship, we have managed to squeeze in. We've been through all of this together, and have come out stronger in the end. But with Flynn, I think we finally realized that we have become overwhelmed with the constant change and little adjustment period. We keep slogging through all these huge things and saying "okay, next!" Each one of these things on their own are big deals and often need time for adjustment. We haven't given ourselves this chance on any of them.

So, Best Guy and I have decided that we officially have a Moratorium on Intentional Life Shifts for the next six months. Basically, our next life change will be our marriage in May. We are going to allow ourselves the winter to settle. We will not adopt any new family members until after the wedding. We will give ourselves time to adjust. We will give ourselves time to solidify. We will give ourselves the space and time needed to come to terms will all of our choices and coalesce as a family.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just Stop. 

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