Showing posts from November, 2015

Merry Whatever to All and to All Try to Not Curl Up into a Ball of Depression, M'kay?

Yesterday saw the trek up to my Mom's house for Thanksgiving. For the last couple of years we have gone "non-traditional" with our Thanksgiving feast so that we may enjoy our Christmas turkey without the air of "didn't we just do this?"

It was a lovely meal with my Mom, Best Guy and I, my brother, my Aunt and my Cousin. Low key, wine, good conversation, good food, good dessert. While we were up there, BG and I went through some of Mom's Christmas stuff, since we will be hosting this year and the aim is to get a tree large enough to hold more than three ornaments.

She gave us permission to take pretty much anything we wanted, but once I got down there and I was looking at my childhood in a plastic storage bin, I froze. I couldn't take anything. In the end, both Mom and BG ended up filling our grocery bag with ornaments, with me only vocalizing over things I absolutely did not want.

I remember all of those ornaments in there: some older than I am, som…

Giving Thanks

The days are officially too short for comfort, the temperature has finally nose-dived, and this morning saw our first spit of snow in my part of the state. Thanksgiving is just two days away and the stores have been inching the Christmas stuff out since August.
Yep, it's officially the End of the Year.
Over the last, well, far too many to count years, by the time I get to this point I'm all "thank freaking gawd this is almost over. Here's to hoping next year sucks less."
I'm not saying that this year.
This year has been off-the-hook amazing. Sure, I definitely had some hard bits; things I don't care to re-live in any way shape or form. On the whole, however, it's been a pretty kick-ass year. I have so much to be grateful for, and even now I'll look around and say "how is this even in my experience?!"
Okay, I don't say that. There is usually a curse word or two involved, but I was trying to class this post up a little. 
Ha ha.
So, as …

I've Written 1,000 Posts Here.

As of this one, anyway.

I guess other bloggers offer prizes or somesuch when they come to milestones such as this. But then, I never really did this for the reader count, obviously. I'm not making any money off this blog whatsoever. It's not my way of life. It's simply a means to an end for me. That you, Dear Reader, are here at all is just icing on the cake.
With the emotional and mental stress of the last couple of weeks finally over, I find myself in a unique position. My new schedule at work won't kick in until after Thanksgiving, which was intentional on my part. As a result, I am on-call for a significantly reduced amount of time. I am calling this my un-vacation. 
For the next couple weeks, I will have 3-day weekends and more time generally to re-focus and re-tune myself. I am focusing on Self-Care: healthy foods, yoga, dance, getting instead of giving a massage, meditation, time to exercise and be in nature. I am going to do my best to not over-schedule myself …

Project 251: Because We Needed some Freakin' Fun

Because this past week was so emotionally draining for both of us, we celebrated surviving with with cake and alcohol last night.

This morning, the initial plan had been to take care of some chores like grocery shopping and Costco, but once I got coffee in me I decided that I wanted to do only fun things today. So, we decided to knock off some 251 cities by going through the Islands in Lake Champlain. There are just five cities/towns up there, but the going can get bad in the winter so we decided to get them done while the getting was still good. So, here, they are:

A Moratorium on Intentional Massive Life Shifts

This has been a tense, sad week in this household.

No, Best Guy and I are fine. Stronger than ever. No worries there.

Not only have we been dealing with the fall-out of me giving notice, we have also come to the heart-breaking decision that we need to return Flynn. She has aggressively gone after the cats four times in a 24 hour period. We fear that this is not something that can be trained out of her; it is simply her nature to go after small things that run away. It's fun.

Between the stress of the job and this unfortunate turn of events, I spent a lot of time last night bawling. Not crying; bawling my ever-loving eyes out until my nose was so stuffed I couldn't breathe. In fact, my eyes still feel weird this morning which makes me wonder if I was crying in my sleep.

While walking Flynn last night after coming to our decision, we reflected on how many massive life changes have happened to us in the last 14 months (in no particular order):

Falling madly in loveGetting a divorc…

Every Oopsie is an Opportunity for Growth. Painful, Wonderful Growth

As you may recall, about a month ago I posted that I had accepted a second part-time job to help with my finance situation. On paper, this is a good job with growth potential. In reality, for reasons I will not go into online, things are not working out for me.

It is heartbreaking for me to say this. The last time I walked away from a job this soon after starting it was my "first job" in high school. I was a (very bad) cashier in a grocery store, back when you had to enter everything in manually and actually rely on math. I lasted two weeks there.

With the realization that my needs were not getting met with this second job, I have come to see many things:

My issues regarding scarcity and abundance are very deep and far reaching. I don't know where the heck they came from, but I'm never going to be successful or content until I get to the bottom of these issues.Having a rational conversation with a Partner and coming to solutions that benefit the family are very wonder…

Big Announcement!

I've been sitting on this news for a couple weeks, but now it is official!

We have adopted a new dog!

Her Royal Title is Flynncess Leia, but she is humble and prefers we call her Flynn. She is three years old, and a Pitbull Terrier.

She is a rescue, and the best we can tell has been in a couple homes already. She was with her last foster mom since February, where she got lots of love and behavioral training. She knows her commands very well and she's now getting used to us saying them. She is a strong little dog, and walking her is going to be an adventure.

But she has warmed up to us already, looking to both of us for scritches and affection. We're both over the moon infatuated with her right now and we are looking forward to many years together.

The cats, however, are not amused.

Meh, they'll get over it.

Cultivating an Attitude of Abundance when an Attitude of Scarcity is Your Default Setting

I have been having many conversations with my friend T lately regarding scarcity/abundance. Well really, I've been struggling with scarcity and she's been trying to re-frame my thoughts to abundance. I've got to give her mad props for her tenacity.

I hadn't realized just how far down the rabbit hole I'd sunk until a conversation with Best Guy earlier today. We were talking about finances and I was telling him how much was in my account and he let me know how much is in his - and as of yesterday, our - account. Instead of my fears being assuaged, my first words were "but you like to keep it at twice that amount!"

I was paralyzed with scarcity fear. Even though we are fine, because I had some arbitrary number in my head that he mentioned once six months ago, I was ready to go into lock-down mode.

That's when I realized that my default setting was stuck to PANIC.

The thing is, sometimes things are scarce. Sometimes you have to account for every last cent…