Control Freaks of the World Unite! In an Orderly Fashion! Along that Wall Over There! According to Height!

I have made no qualms about the fact that I am a control freak. It ranges from "totally cool and No Big Deal" on my best days to "I'm going to spend 30 minutes freaking out over a window blind" on my worst.

Not that the last one has ever happened.

Ahem.

Shuffle feet look at the ground mutter incoherently under your breath.

Thank god I was alone at the time and there was no one to see me at that less-than-stellar moment.

I don't always have to be in charge. In fact, a lot of times there is nothing I like better than to give someone the reigns, walk away, come back a few days later and enjoy the fruits of their labor. However, when you are planning your own wedding on a very strict budget that is not an option.

Best Guy and I are going to be coordinating everything, and a lot of this is going to be DIY. Including, possibly, the catering. Yes, we have the better part of nine months to plan this. Yes, we could probably pull it all together in two weeks and have an awesome shindig. Yes, I had to change most of those pronouns from I to we.

Sorry BG. Love you!

But since this blog is from my perspective, I reserve the right to use the Royal I. That's a thing, isn't it?

I don't have to do this all myself, and I won't. The thing is, I won't know where and when it's time for help until I do all of the preliminary research, coordinating, number crunching, and organizing.

All of this sounds like excuses. Like apologies for how I'm relating to this huge, monumental change in my life. They aren't. I'm not apologizing for my love of planning and organizing. It gets shit done. Yes, everything will be okay and fabulous in the end. One way or the other. It's the family and friends sharing the moment that matters most.

But both BG and I have ideas about what we want to experience, and how we want to share this day with our loved ones. Which means, planning.

So yes. I will most likely freak out in the short term over things that mean nothing in the long term. I will always apologize to the appropriate parties after I calm down. Yes, I will drive everyone nuts with my focus on the minutae of things that ultimately won't matter. I will surface and see the humor in it eventually.

I will not ever apologize for being a planner and organizer. I am who I am, and I can't not be this way. I've tried. Denying who you are is always painful and I refuse to partake any longer. I embrace the crazy wonderful ways that I get things when it feels like I'm herding cats. I will do my best to infuse compassion and understanding in my undertakings. Because we're all just people trying to get along.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go re-arrange my Pinterest wedding boards.


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