Monday, May 25, 2015

You Can Do Anything for 30 Days

Well, that's obviously not true. As evidenced by my twice-failed attempt at Whole30. I'd link back to those posts but they're way the heck back there and I've had a glass of wine so if you want to go back and read up on that fiasco I'll wait here.

While we were in Quebec City, Best Guy and I were both lamenting on how poorly we'd been eating for the last month. Stress had us making less than stellar food choices, and the week leading up to the move was basically a free-for-all for stress eating.

So we came up with a "challenge" for 30 days, I would go vegetarian and he would give up all sweets. We started on Monday May 18th. So far it's been going really well for me. It feels pretty natural. But then, I haven't had anything to really tempt me. Best Guy has had a slightly harder go of it, but has been going strong.

Last week, I was going through some of my early blog posts and I came across one that discussed why I went vegetarian. It was a very interesting read for me, as I had lost sight of those early reasons amid the craziness into which I spiraled.

I am enjoying being vegetarian for these 30 days, but knowing that at the end of it I can have a big juicy burger if I want helps to ease things along. But then, I've always been able to have that big juicy burger. I just chose the veggie burger. When I was going through Yoga Teacher Training, I chose to go vegetarian for a month as part of my study of ahimsa (the yama meaning "non-violence"). I felt good in that month, but at the end of it I had a choice to make: continue on or going back to being an omnivore. I sat in a restaurant with a good friend and felt the guilt riding up because I wanted to choose chicken over tofu. I chose the chicken and haven't even attempted a vegetarian diet since.

I am using these 30 days to see if I can come to a happy medium in my brain. I feel more at peace with this than I have in a long time. I am hoping I can find some ground where I can be happy with my food choices. This seems to be a life-long struggle for me.

Perhaps that is where I need to find my peace.

I am okay with finding my peace at the bottom of a Tim Horton's coffee cup.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

When it Works...

I consider myself to be a strong, modern woman. I can take care of myself very well, as evidenced by the fact I managed to keep myself alive since moving out of my parent's house post-college. I am strong, I am intelligent, and I am self-reliant. I believe that talents and strengths do not follow gender lines, and that that line is actually pretty damned blurry.

So when I looked up yesterday and realized I was in a "traditional" relationship, it made me take pause. When I mentioned it to Best Guy, he felt the same way I did: interested and a little confused as to how we managed to fall into these rolls.

It wasn't anything we intentionally crafted; far from it. Both of us are firm believers in equal opportunity. We both believe that there are two people in a relationship and in order for it to be successful we both need to be doing our fair share of the work. If one of us is carrying an unfair burden, we both suffer.

It just so happens that I am good at cooking, and I enjoy fixing meals for the both of us. Maybe I'm not so hot at cleaning, but my job allows me more time at home, so I can take care of the things that would otherwise have to be done after work or crammed into weekends. Best Guy has an awesome job that keeps him out of the home during the week., but makes enough so we can afford to buy things (like washers, dryers, and a house to put around them).

We both agree that we are fully contributing, not unequally just differently. We are following our strengths and our relationship is strong as a result. We've also agreed that if at any point either of us feels that we've gone too far into the 1950's that we bring it up ASAP.

Just because I can rock the 50's glam doesn't mean I want to go back there.

Damn fucking skippy.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Finally.... Time to Breathe.

So, this was my Friday afternoon:

That's right, the move is complete. We are in our new home and confounded as to whom this house actually belongs to. Because it certainly can't be us. We're just a couple of crazy kids.

What. The. Friggity Frak.

My Friday evening was spent making the four hour car trip to Quebec City with Best Guy and another of his band mates. That's right, we moved and never even spent the night in the house. We barely spent two hours in it before taking off again. Best Guy's band was playing a festival in QC over the weekend, and frankly it was a nice little vacation from all the stress of moving.

We were able to spend some time in Vieux Quebec. Which has cannons.

 And you guys... Elephants of Scotland killed it. I am so very proud of them.

My god Best Guy is so friggin' sexy. I can't even.

We finally spent last night (Sunday) in our new home.  We had a brief moment of panic over the weekend when we thought one of the cats ran away, but luckily she was found crammed into a corner of the basement, a little stuck and humiliated but no worse for the wear.

I think once we get used to the fact that we have so much space that we're going to really like it here.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

...but which is Right for Me?

For the last few months, I have been struggling on and off with the idea of going back to vegetarianism. Best Guy is a long-term vegetarian. I cook that way at home and out of respect for him try not to bring meats into the house. He knows and accepts that I eat meat and often when we go out I'm ordering the non-veggie burger.

A woman after my own heart.
But... it sits in the back of my mind.

I always enjoyed eating vegetarian. I felt cleaner, lighter. I felt like there was more variety in my cooking. And of course, there are the myriad of health, environmental and moral benefits that come along with eliminating meat from your diet.

However, for me there is a dark side to it as well. That in going back to being an omnivore, I have failed in my moral obligation to be compassionate to all animals. My eating meat is a direct contribution to farming practices that are ruining the environment. And let's not forget about the negative health impacts of too many animal products on my fragile heart.

So, what? I should go back to being a vegetarian out of guilt? Because otherwise I'm a failure? I kinda think that's doing it for the wrong reasons.

I liked being a vegetarian. I like eating meat. I didn't like how vegetarianism devolved into a perfectionist failure spiral/verging on eating disorder for me. I don't like how I feel like a failure for wanting pepperoni on my pizza.

I've somehow managed to work myself into a corner where I simply can't win.

There is nothing wrong with being vegetarian at home and indulging when eating out. Even being a part-time veggie has its benefits, morally, environmentally, health-wise. Maybe I stop worrying quite so much about the labels and focus instead on healthy foods: veggies, fruits, whole grains, and proteins.

Because life is far too short to feel like a failure all the damned time.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Another Rotation Around the Sun

Yesterday was my 41st birthday.


Since I had to work yesterday, Best Guy took me out to a birthday dinner the night before. There is a new kebab place in town and let me tell you, we're going to go back. All the noms. And then yesterday morning I woke up to BG bringing me coffee in bed. SWOON. He's a keeper, he is.

Otherwise, it was a very low-key day. We're still packing, we're still working, we're still trying to figure out the logistics of moving. We finally got closing times for Friday. Which even I know is a little late in the game. It's going to be a very long day and even with a time line established we're not entirely sure of the logistics.

It actually changed a bit after I took that picture. We added in an extra hour of things
 to do, but somehow "Get Drunk" was only pushed back 15 minutes. Because I am a Master Organizer.

Like, the cats. The poor cats who are going to end up sitting in my car in pet carriers for the better part of five hours. At least it's probably going to be a cooler day than it has been over the last week. We can't really dose them because of their age. We're both a little uncertain as to how this is going to work. They are going to be uncomfortable and angry with us and as much as we hate it, there really isn't anything we can do about it.

In the meantime, we're sleeping on a mattress on the floor. We're eating meals I pre-cooked on Sunday so I could use up everything in the fridge. All of the TV surround sound stuff has been packed away. Today, I am going to finish packing up the kitchen, So we're going to spend the next couple days using two plates, two bowls, two spoons and a knife.

Also, last night I finished a bottle of wine. Hey... it needed using up. And it was my birthday. You don't get drunk on your birthday, you get extra festive.


Tuesday, May 5, 2015

So Much Going On!

1. This past weekend I finally came into the 21st Century and got myself a Smartass Phone. I got a LG G3 and so far I am loving it. There's a bit of a learning curve that's going into it, but I'm well on my way to total addiction. Just like every other person in a 1st and 2nd world country.

2. By this time in two weeks, we will be moved in to the new place and wondering where the hell everything is. Holy fracking crapola. We're still packing a little day by day, but it's getting tougher to pack because we're using most of the stuff that's still out. I think we're going to have a very late night next Wednesday, frantically stuffing things into boxes and bags in order to be ready for our 9am Mover's appointment Thursday morning.

3. I started my new job yesterday. I think I'm going to really like it there, once things get up and running a little bit. I'll be trying desperately to find things and remember where things go for a little while, but it shouldn't be too bad. Once I get the hang of the basics, they'll start teaching me how to do all of the fun treatments (wraps and scrubs). I'm looking forward to that a lot.

4. Spring has finally, FINALLY found Vermont. That last several days have been consistently sunny and warm (by anyone's standards, not just Vermont standards). The leaves are popping out so quickly you can practically watch it happen. We've had the windows open for days now, and haven't had to close them at night. *Insert sigh of contentment here*

5. We've finally got Buddy's weight problem under control. But now he has a scratching issue. We're not sure what it is. Vet thinks maybe food allergy, but it's hard to tell. We've taken him off the food we thought was the culprit and put him back on the old food that didn't cause him any problems. That we're aware of, anyway.
The Cone of Shame, which doesn't do much for the scratching but helps
with the licking. The ironic thing is, we think he actually likes the damned thing.

The Vet gave him some antibiotics to deal with the scratches and raw spots he's given himself, and it will also help if there are any mites or anything biting him. The only problem is we think that (1) it's anxiety related and (2) it has become habit, so even if he's feeling better he's still doing it. BG is going to pick up some Valerian this evening and we're hoping that will lighten his load a little, so to speak.

We were both a little miffed that the Vet dismissed anxiety out of hand, especially considering how crazy a move can make people, let alone pets. We've been doing our best to cuddle with him and generally make him happy, but we can only do so much. I can tell him what's going on to my heart's content (we're going someplace new. We're all going. You're coming with us. We're going to stay together) but until his environment gets settled, anxiety is a real concern.

Well... that's what is going on in my world now. Off to cram some more stuff into a box...

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