Posts

Showing posts from April, 2015

Flexibility.... It's Not Just About Touching Your Toes

Image
This morning after Best Guy left for work, I felt a desperate need to get outside. It was still chilly, but the sun was shining and I needed to GET OUT. So I did something I rarely do... I took a long walk at 8:30 in the morning.

If you've met me, you'd know that I am pretty much useless before 10am, even if I'm up and about. But the need to be in nature was overwhelming, so off I went.

I walked down to my favorite park and found that it was early enough that I could sit on any rock I chose.

So I sat.

I listened to the birds. I listened to the waves. I felt the wind. I felt the cold of the rock I sat on. I felt the sun doing its best to warm this little part of the planet.

I watched the waves as they licked the rocks, playing with the wintered-over grass. I watched the grass. The orangey-brown long blades of grass undulated with each wave. Those were strong roots, holding that grass in place. It didn't fight the relentless waves as they came, one after the other. No, i…

...and the River Flows On

Image
Today is the last day of my vacation. Tomorrow I start my final week at my current job. By this time next week, I'll be starting at my new job. We have a little more than three weeks to go in the condo and we are far behind on the packing. It'll get done... eventually.

Last Tuesday I had the honor and privilege of getting a massage/energy work session from a good friend. She helped me re-frame a lot of thing that were going on for me, as well as highlighted work that I needed to do. It was an amazing session, and I've been working on integrating much of the advice she gave me. As per usual, it's slow going but that's okay.

This past weekend Best Guy had a gig up in Montreal.

Can I just be a super proud girlfriend for a moment? I've always known they were a great band, but it was so wonderful seeing them play for a crowd that actually got it. They will be playing another gig in Canada next month... the same weekend we're closing on our house. And our 8th-mon…

Re-Wilding the Spirit

Image
About a year and a half ago I had a vivid, soul-charging dream:
I was standing in a forest. An old-growth, ancient forest, replete with mossy trees, thick underbrush, streams, rocks... a Forest, with a capital F.    As I was standing there, I became surrounded by Dryads. They were trying to get me to join them, and I was afraid. I tried to get away from them, but they wouldn't let me leave. Bit by bit, they removed all of my clothing, leaving me naked in the Forest.  Then I felt the change. I was Them, they were Me. I felt the Power rush through me and there was nothing but joy and ancient knowledge. It was then that I turned and started running. With them behind me, I melted into the forest and knew no one could ever stop me or hurt me. I was Nature Incarnate. Even all this time later, I remember the way this dream felt. Last year, I even performed a piece inspired by it. Twice.

I believe I was a Wild Child. Happy in the dirt, happy in the trees, in the streams. I believed in fai…

Free to be You and Me

Image
I had a bad sleeping night last night, and as I was doing the downward blame-game spiral at 1 am, I read this:
Spiritual instruction teaches us to keep our focus on ourselves - not in an egocentric way but as a way of consciously managing our energy and power... learn what rather than who draws power from you. ...Your task is to learn the lesson that the teacher has for you rather than to resent the teacher. (Anatomy of the Spirit, Caroline Myss, p. 39) So, as I lay curled up on the couch in the fetal position covered head to toe in a blanket, I took stock of things. What was my lesson? First of all, I realized that my physical position was telling me a lot: I was protecting myself. I mean, you don't curl up in a ball and hide under a blanket when you feel good about things.

What was I protecting myself from?

Protection. The Fetal Position... This is Root Chakra work. "The Right to Be Here." The right to take up space. The right to have my basic needs met. The ability to…

All the Small Things

Image
1. New employment may be soon. I am going in today to fill out new-hire paperwork, but it is not final until a background check can be completed. So background company, if you're reading this.... HI! I hope you find my entries quirky and though-provoking.

As I am transitioning from one job to another, I am finding that for the first time ever I am grieving for the job I am leaving. This has never happened before. Oh, don't get me wrong; I have missed co-workers and done my best to keep in touch with friends I made over the years, but this is the first time I am sad at leaving a position. I catch myself at odd times wanting to cry. It is a good ending for the best of reasons, but I will miss that place. So it has been interesting navigating the swings between exciting new ventures and grieving what is coming to a close.

2. Speaking of...  My vacation is just 2.5 days away. Yesterday I didn't think I was going to make it. Today, I have hope. Although I think it is going to b…

Recharging

Image
It's sunny, nearing 70 degrees and gorgeous here today. So this had to happen:


Getting all of the stones cleansed and recharged in the sun. They've been working overtime this past year, so it's time they get a little lovin' too.

Now... it's time for me to go out and play in the Spring.

Everyday, Life Gives you an Adventure

Image
When I moved in with Best Guy, it was with the knowledge that we wouldn't remain in this location long, and that we would be moving again soon. As much as I was aware of this, I've also done my best not to think about it, because moving is No Fun.

So....

This past Thursday, we received and accepted an offer on the condo. As of today, we are officially under contract. Yesterday we went to look at one home and looked at another four today (we tried for a fifth but there was a huge-ass dog in one and it turns out in the 10 hours between booking the showing and arriving for it, the house went under contract. You could have called instead of letting your pooch do the talking. Moving - ha ha - on).

We looked at one house we really liked, and after looking at all the others, we went back. And decided to put an offer in on that house.

Now the game begins.

Will they accept our offer? What will they counter with? Will we have enough time between now and closing? Will they move the closi…

Oh, the Humanity.

Image
Our egos. Our damned, cunning, brilliant egos. They go along, propping us up, making us think that we are More, Better, Above... and then something comes along to put us back in our place. Something that makes us confront the reality that we are in fact mere mortals. We are humans who do stupid things and put their foots in their mouths and muddle around wondering why things aren't turning out the way we thought they would.

Yeah, so I had a bad day at work yesterday.

As the saying goes "we all make mistakes." But really, when we say that we mean "everyone else makes mistakes, but I don't." Because even if we truly believe that everyone makes mistakes, secretly we think we're above that. Because our egos tell us this is the case. So whenever we get a good dose of our own humanity, it sends us reeling. It's okay for others to goof up; they're just humans.

I got a good whopping dose of my own humanity yesterday.

It turns out, I am not above my emot…

More Like Water, Less Like Rock

Image
Yesterday and today have been blessedly warm in Vermont. Like, 50's and 60's. Which we have not seen since November. Since tomorrow is going to plummet back into the 30's and snow is likely, this had to happen this morning:



Can I tell you how very, very good that felt? I didn't really do anything much. There was a lot of time spent in supta baddha konasana and savasana. Because both let me lie there in the sun. Which is warm.

Warm sun. Imagine that.

And then, if that weren't enough, I hauled Best Guy's meditation cushion out there and then I sat. I have no idea how long. It doesn't really matter. I listened to squirrels scurry, woodpeckers have at it, someone shoveling, the traffic go by. I felt the sun on my skin. I felt my body rock gently back and forth as it pulsed fluid through my veins. I watched the colors changed on my closed eyelids.

It came to me what my work now is. Trust. I need to work on my Trust. I need to trust that things will be okay. I ne…