It's crazy, yo.
I don't like spending time there anymore. It's not the sanctuary it once was. Nearly all wall decorations have been taken down. Almost everything else has been categorized into box up, throw out, or give away.
All that's left are those few key items that you absolutely can do nothing with until 45 minutes before you lock that door for the last time. A couple dishes, shampoo, toothpaste, my bed. And also about 20 things I just can't decide what to do with. But that's it.
I still have some logistical things to do like rent the U-Haul for this weekend and call a couple of the utilities, but for the most part I don't live there anymore.
So the fact that I have to spend Tuesday-Friday there is not filling me with joy. But it is those last days everyone who moves has to go through, isn't it? Those final days to say good-bye to all of the memories that live in that space. To cut yourself free from any final attachments you may have.
|Shortly after I moved in, before the purchase of Esmerelda the Couch.|
This apartment was good to me. It was nice for what it was, and it was exactly what I needed at the time. But I would be lying if I said I was going to miss it. Because I'm not. I spent a great many unhappy days, weeks and months there before I was able to turn myself around. It was the cocoon I needed while I was transitioning into who I am now. As grateful as I am for my time there, I am flying from this place with no regrets and no looking back.
I've already been welcomed with open arms in my new place... open paws too as the critters have officially adopted me into their tribe, as evidenced by the fact that one slept on my head all night long. This new space is bright, open, warm, and inviting. It is not a womb in which to quicken, it is a home in which to grow.
I am excited for this new adventure.