Thursday, January 22, 2015

An Essay on Why I am Sick to Death of the Whole "Mercury in Retrograde" Thing Yet Still Believe it's Trying to Kill Me

So. Mercury is in retrograde. AGAIN.

If it seems like this happens all the time, that's because it does. Usually three or four times a year. So, once every quarter everyone gets a chance to blame every bad thing that happens on a planet that while not actually going backwards certainly looks the part.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's the gist. In the astrological realm, the planet Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, truth and travel. When the planet appears to go backward (even though it isn't), all of these things "go backward" as well. Emails get lost, people mishear things, you have trouble focusing, travel plans get FUBAR'd, dogs and cats lay together in sin, eggs won't scramble, and generally all bad things everywhere are Mercury's fault. Even worse, you start to feel the effects of the backward boogey before it officially happens and sometimes for a while after it's done.

The ubiquitous "They" recommend never signing contracts during this time period, and to not buy big-ticket items, especially electronics. Take everything people say with a grain of salt, as miscommunication comes easily and people aren't always thinking with a clear mind. Double and triple check travel arrangements, and generally don't make final decisions on anything until it's over. "They" also say this is a very good time to complete old projects (just don't start any new ones), and to take time for introspection. Basically just hunker down and weather out the storm.

Obviously, this has been around since western astrology came in to being. However, it seems like only in the past few years that everyone has jumped on the retrograde bandwagon. Or, maybe it's just the fact that I hang out with a lot of people who do astrology. Anyway, it always feels like everyone gets super worked up and freaked out and OMGOMGOMGOMG STOP EVERYTHING NOW DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS!

You guys, it's tiring me out.

On the one hand, I've experienced the craziness for myself and believe that it does indeed happen. On the other hand I have just enough skeptic in me to find myself stifling the "Oh, come on" eye roll. Frankly, it's exhausting getting freaked out three times a year about whether or not purchasing a new coffee maker is going to blow up the house.

This time around, we'll be feeling the effects until February 11th. So, during that time I'll be doing my best to pretend I don't believe in it while making sure I buy no electronics and laughing at the hilarious results of all the communication gaps.

Also, I'll be hiding under the covers whenever possible.

Just in case.

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