I was at work yesterday afternoon when I got a text from Best Guy: How would you feel if I showed up at your house after work with Chinese?
That would be a double helping of YES PLEASE.
It was apropos of nothing, and we didn't have any plans to see each other for a couple days. I had mentioned a week ago that I'd been craving Chinese for months now and I'd been finding its MSG-induced happiness elusive. So he brought me some. Just because it would make me happy.
Now you know why I'm calling him My Best Guy.
I have been an independent gal for a very long time now. I have learned to take care of things on my own. Unfortunately, I've also learned to never - or at least seldom - rely on others to help meet my needs. My immediate family is the only real exception to that. We're all so stubbornly independent that if one of us asks for help it's automatically given, because if we've gotten to the point where we're asking all hell's about to break loose.
Why is it I can be so giving with others, yet accepting it back makes me feel vaguely embarrassed? If I do something nice for someone its from my generous spirit and nothing is owed, but if someone does something nice for me I owe them a favor? Um... how did that develop in my brain? Generosity is a gift, nothing is owed anyone except Gratitude.
This new relationship of mine has brought to the forefront (in a gentle manner for once thank the stars), that you can be independent and still accept help and generosity from others. Yes, I can do it myself. But I don't have to. Isn't that better?
It's a duck sauce covered, MSG-laden, deep-fried egg roll of better.
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