I've been thinking a lot these last few days about truth-speaking. I don't mean telling the truth, which I have no problem with. In fact, I am probably a little too honest sometimes. I mean honoring your inherent Truth. That which you know deep inside, that which benefits and builds you up most.
Speaking your Truth can be very difficult, because you're putting your Self out there for everyone to see and, of course, judge. At least, that's what it can feel like. It's a lot easier to not say anything, to not stick up for yourself, to just go with the flow instead of rocking the boat.
I think a LOT of people (myself included) got the idea at some point that speaking up for yourself is inherently rude and the polite person will acquiesce to others. Which can go one of two ways:
- Both of you refuse to speak your Truth because it would be rude so you end up just staring at each other, almost daring the other person to be the one to have to speak.
- The one who never speaks gets continually railroaded and never gets any of their Truths recognized.
Either way, you're pretty much screwed. You never acknowledge your Truth, so your needs are subjugated to whoever is willing to vocalize theirs.
I have a terrible habit of not speaking when I should. I will gladly hide behind the written word, because there I can take my time, form my opinions, delete and rewrite until things are just so. In the real world, I get flustered and nervous when my Truth needs to be spoken. If it is a good Truth I should speak, I get embarrassed because I'm having The Feels and I down-play it by making jokes. If something hurts, I will retreat behind a wall that I don't realize has gone up until a significant time later. I will not say "this hurts." I will not say "I'm angry." I will pretend nothing happened, I'm fine thank you very much. I have gladly rearranged my life to suit the needs of others, simply because I was thrilled they were willing to notice my existence. I was never the recipient of the same honor.
I am working on all of these. Because having The Feels is not a bad thing, and if something or someone hurts me, pretending it didn't happen is not doing me any favors. I have my own life, and if you are not willing to make room in yours for me, why should I cancel mine for you? Speaking your Truth is a good thing, and if anyone is offended by your Truth then they are not Your People. Simple as that.
We all have our Truths. They are all valid. They all deserve their time in the sun. They all deserve acceptance.