One of my conversations yesterday left me pondering the idea of perception. What I had taken to be an absolute truth of a situation was in direct opposition to what a friend of mine knew to be absolutely true. It wasn't anything bad - quite the opposite - just two very different experiences of the same thing.
Which led me to ponder... how much of our perception is actually projection? How much of my "truth" was actually me projecting my fears and issues all over the damned place, painting a picture that had no basis in reality?
I won't go so far as to invalidate my experience of the situation, because if I was projecting, it was because I felt I needed to protect myself from something I wasn't ready to address. At the time, I was in emotional survival mode, more so than I even realized. To be honest, it's a minor miracle that the worst I did was a little projecting. When we know better, we do better. Right?
When you discover that something you took as truth is actually a story you're telling yourself to get on/get by/excuse your behaviors is quite the humbling thing. Luckily for me this time it was pretty minor and far enough in the past so I could look back and be okay with it. Even a little amused. Because BOY did I have it wrong!
One can only hope the next time I feel like I'm strongly perceiving something, I can take a step back and say "okay, is this what I'm really getting or is this what I'm sending out?"
Ah... our fickle little selves. How amusing we are.