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Showing posts from December, 2013

Completion? Never!

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A couple weeks ago, I posted this, which was supposed to be the last one in the first month of studying the yamas and niyamas of yoga a bit more thoroughly. Theoretically, I should have moved on by now and should be well into the second month of this study course.

I'm still sticking with this first month. Partially because of the holidays... it just seemed appropriate somehow to be able to tell yourself "you are complete in this moment" when dealing with the pressures of socializing and gift giving and all the foibles and crazy emotions that can surface this time of year. But also, this just seemed like a lesson I needed to stick with a little longer.

I just keep telling myself: You are enough in this moment.

Somehow, slowly, all the other stuff is starting to fall away. Bit by bit. Sometimes the stuff comes back and I have to let it fall away again.

But that's the thing. If you keep telling yourself "I am enough in this moment" eventually you start to beli…

Yesterday I Faked a Good Mood with Caffeine and I'm Okay with That.

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Of course, today I'm paying for it. I couldn't fall asleep last night, and once I did it was bad sleep and I woke up way too early considering I worked the equivalent of a week and a half in four days.

Four very long days.

I'm tired, yo.

Today I will not be using a societally approved substance to improve my mood. I'm just gonna roll with the crappiness and hope that it balances out over the next 24 hours.

Also, I am going to see the second Anchorman movie this afternoon. If that doesn't work, all is lost.


Stay classy everyone.


Christmas in a Few Easy Step

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Step 4: Somehow drive home, unpack everything, put on your new flannel pajamas and drink some hot lemon and honey tea in an attempt to digest steps 1-3. There is no picture for this because, let's face it you don't wanna look at that.

Merry Christmas everyone. May you find abundant happiness, health and blessings.


Christmas Eve

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How in the world did Christmas Eve get here? Didn't we just do this?! Man, this year has gone by too, too quickly.

When I look back at where I was this time last year, it boggles the mind. My boyfriend had just broken up with me a month and a half prior, and I was struggling to put on a brave face. While friends and family were secretly saying good-riddance, my broken heart was focused on all the good things, all of the things I loved about him.

My head knew that it was the right thing, but my poor heart wouldn't hear it. My head kept trying to skip ahead to forgiveness. It kept trying to tell me to let go of my anger and hurt, that it was no good to dwell on such things, because I was the master of my own suffering. All I needed to do was let go and my suffering would end.

But you know what? While that sentiment is true it overlooks a very important point: you can't let go of something until you first experience it. It's one thing to hold on to anger long after it ser…

Beauty in Chaos

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Blessed Icy Solstice

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Yeah, that storm is still rolling through. It let up for a while during the day, but the worst of it is coming through tonight and through most of tomorrow. Many places already have up to a half-inch of ice. I haven't looked too hard outside since the sun went down, but I'm sure we've some as well. I've still got electricity, but I'm sure that's going to go out at some point tonight.

I find it kind of interesting that this powerful storm is raging through tonight, and is almost sure to send a large portion of us into the dark. Tonight, the longest night of the year. The Winter Solstice. It's a time to slow down, to go inward. To finish what needs finishing and to welcome the start of something new.

How ironic that we are being told by well, every official in the states of New York and Vermont plus every local weatherman to slow down, to stay in. Mother Nature has decided that we're all going to celebrate the solstice here, whether you want to or not.

Wi…

Ice Storm

As in, they're calling for one in my area this weekend. There is a freak weather event this weekend where half the state will be warm (like, into the 50s) and have torrential rain. The other half of the state will be in this weird limbo where some will have rain, some snow, and some ice.

Yeah, I live in the area where they're calling for ice.

I'm kinda freaking out. A LOT. I have electric heat so when that goes out (and it's an ice storm, it will go out) I am essentially frakked. My main hope is that the power stays on tonight and the outages are relegated to a few hours Saturday night or in to Sunday.

I am woefully unprepared. I have exactly one candle and one flashlight. I have some batteries charging and some food I don't need to cook (hello PB&Js), but if the power goes out for an extended period of time, I'm looking at the possibility of frozen pipes.

The last time this area had any kind of ice storm was back in 1998, and it ravaged the area. They were…

Completion

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This week marks the last week of the first month of my ongoing yamas/niyams project. If you've missed these, you can look at Week 1, Week 2, and Week 3. These exercises can be found in this book.

For this final week of exploration of Ahimsa, the yama that means "non-violence", my exercise is this:
For this whole week, pretend that you are complete. There is no need to expect anything from yourself or to criticize or judge or change anything about you. No need to compete with anyone, no need to be more than you are (or less than you are). This one floored me. It actually stopped me in my tracks and I think my jaw dropped a little bit. Me? Complete? OK as I am? Since when have I ever been okay as I am, with no need to judge or change anything? Me, who felt like I made a grievous mistake this past weekend when I made hot towels for work and another therapist decided to wring more water out of them then I would have. I felt like a failure for not making hot towels the same w…

Snowy Days Mean You Should Bake Something

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We've got maybe six inches where I live, although I have friends who live outside my area with considerably more. Still, I'm using the snow as an excuse to cozy in and just make of day of relaxing.

Oh, and baking.



Even I'm surprised this is what I ended up making. It's based on the recipe for Apple Pie with Oatmeal Cookie Crust from The Enchanted Broccoli Forest Cookbook. Although I didn't quite have all the ingredients (or a pie pan. Ahem.) so I had to make do. As a result, once you try to serve it, you end up with essentially a roasted apple crisp. But hey! It tastes AMAZING.

Noms.


Storm Preparedness Level: MASTER (or fool, depends on how bad this actually gets)

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Our first major snow storm of the season is upon us. In just a few short hours, the hills will be alive with the sound of plow trucks.

My plans for this evening have been cancelled (driving 2 hours one way to perform in a show just didn't seem like such a good idea under the circumstances), so I have done what every self-respecting Vermonter does when faced with a snow storm. I stocked up on the necessities:


Dreams

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Gotta love 'em.

Last night I dreamt I was in a car trying to get out of a parking garage. I kept following the signs for the exit, but every time I arrived at an off-ramp, it turned into stairs and then a wall so I was stuck in the parking garage.

Pretty telling, eh?

So apparently I either A) need new signs or B) need to ignore all the ones I'm getting.

Which is kinda not the point of getting signs, isn't it?


Just Call Me Lucy.

I believe I've mentioned before that my kindergarten teacher once told my mom that I reminder her of Lucy from the Peanuts, because I was always telling everyone else what to do. Now, she and my mom were friends and it was not said in the spirit of meanness, and frankly we all thought it was funny. Mainly because it's true.

I am a bossy girl.

I admit it. I've known practically all of my life. I come from a long line of bossy ladies, and let me tell you when we all get together it can get interesting.

I try to mitigate it as much as possible, but I've come to learn the hard way that while I might display certain leadership abilities, I have yet to figure out how to keep my more negative bossy tendencies out of the game. Which is why I've never actually made it to management in my careers, mostly of my own choosing. I've had spectacular managers (I have one now and she is truly amazing) and I've had wretched managers; I know myself well enough to know that wh…

Always Speak Your Truth. Unless You're on a Date. In Which Case, STFU.

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I have been doing the dating thing way longer than I care to admit. In all of my experience, I have yet to figure out a way to graciously get out of seeing someone else again.

I'm not talking about "we've been dating for x-number of weeks/months/years/decades and it isn't working out." Because that is its own level of suckiness and there's no getting around the heart-ache that goes with it. You just gotta suck it up and do it and deal with the fallout.

I'm talking about that date that we've all been on: you hang out for an hour or two and you talk and maybe there are a few okay bits but overall you're just not feeling it even though they've done absolutely nothing wrong and they're perfectly fine as a person but there's just nothing there and it's pretty obvious (to you, at least) that there's really no point in a second date.

Except as you say good-bye they ask "so... do you wanna do this again?"

And this is where I …

Balance

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Last week, the challenge was to explore your own courage by doing something you wouldn't normally do, and/or something that scared you.

Overall, I think that went pretty well. Although most of it was "small potatoes," sometimes just having an attitude of positivity (sure, I'll do that) makes huge changes.

This week, the challenge is to listen to your body and discover what it needs to find balance.

So far, it's needed a ton of sleep one day and a ton of caffeine the next.

I don't think I'm doing this right.

Well, now that I've swung from one end to the other, let's see if I can't land in the middle somewhere.