Saturday, November 30, 2013

The Heater Has Been Going for 24 Hours Straight.

My bedroom heater came on this afternoon. I didn't turn it on. It was just that cold.

Still trying to do the positivity thing, although I am trying to stifle a whimper at the thought of my heating bill this month. It is so early for it to be so cold!

In other news, yesterday in the "do something that you wouldn't normally do" theme I told my friend I'd teach yoga at her studio next year. Gulp.

I'm checking now to see if my massage therapist insurance will cover yoga as well so I can plan for next steps. Frankly, between the early heating bill, owing my Mom for the car down payment and the car loan itself (not to mention my credit card that is near to maxed out), I'm not sure I can afford more insurance. We will have to see.

The important thing is, I said yes to something that scares the crap out of me. That's a good thing.

See.... THIS is the kind of sign I need.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Giving Thanks.

We have snow on Thanksgiving. In my living memory, I don't ever recall this happening. I know "back in the day" it was usual - hence the elementary school music class favorite Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother's House We Go. And now you all have that ear worm. You're welcome.

Under different circumstances, I'd be all put-out and worried because I'm driving up to my brother's later today for dinner. Will the roads be driveable? Why's it so cold? I hate the cold. I hate the snow! Harumph urgle burgle pthppth.

I'm trying something different this week. While I was in yoga teacher training, I bought this book for some supplementary reading. I went through it and loved it. I recently got it back out and started re-reading it. Each chapter is based on a different yama/niyama and if you like you can spend a month with each, following the exercises at the end of each chapter.

I've decided to do it and see what happens. Right now I'm on Ahimsa (nonviolence), and the exercise for this week is "this week practice courage by doing one thing daily that you wouldn't normally do." I kinda went back and forth about this one thing and then I decided, I'll just be positive for the day. I don't do that very often. I'll be positive and I'll let things go that don't have anything to do with me.

I'm on Day Three of this now, and it's making a difference. I am a control freak. I know this. I often apologize for this. If spending a week in positivity means I can let it be, then so much the better. Nonviolence: compassion for others and yourself.

So, to bring it around back to the title of this post (and the fact that it's Thanksgiving), today I am thankful for:
1. A car that seems to be good in the snow and brand spanking-new winter tires
2. A roof over my head and walls (with insulation) surrounding me
3. A working heater
4. Warm clothes
5. Good, healthy food
6. A family unit that has always been loving and supporting
7. Dear friends that have become family
8. The ability to follow dreams and continue learning and growing

Whether you are celebrating thanksgiving with family, friends, coworkers, or your pets, I hope you well and happy and healthy.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Latest Performance

Last night I performed after a long hiatus. The theme of the show was "Night of the Living Geeks", wherein we all got to chose the thing we geek out on and portray that. There were tributes to zombies, Games of Thrones, Buffy, Lord of the Rings, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Blade Runner, to name a few.

I'm portraying Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season Five, finale. Basically, I'm about ready to jump off a rickety tower. Apparently my main form of dance last night was tossing around my hair a lot and getting in touch with my angst.


Saturday, November 23, 2013

Woe is Me

So, my car is fixed. Winter tires put on, and the alignment issue that caused the weird wearing on the old tires is fixed. It was an ordeal yesterday, and by the time the day was done I had spent the better part of 24 hours stressed out. I felt pretty energetically icky last night, to be perfectly honest. For the most part I don't mind being single and living on my own, but I tell you yesterday I really needed a little TLC. But since I was the only person there to give it to me, I made myself some comfort food (burgers and homemade oven fries) and caught up on some of the television I missed this week. I snuggled up on the couch, and went to bed early.

Sometimes it really, really sucks not having anyone to come home to.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

God Never Gives You Anything You Can't Handle...

... so I guess God wants to see how much more I can handle before I crack and end up blubbering in the corner?

I'm sitting at home minding my own business, looking forward to a concert I'm going to tonight (Anoushka Shankar, daughter of Ravi Shankar, sitar player extraordinaire), when my landlord knocks on my door.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news," he says. And I'm like oh jeez what now? "But did you know that the cords in your tires are showing?"

"What?" I said. I didn't know tires had cords in them. So I can't see how this is a good thing. We go out and he shows me. There is some really bad wear on the rear tires and indeed there is a cord showing.

"This could blow on you at any minute," he says. "You need to get new tires ASAP."

I'm in my car ALL the time. I drive 40 minutes to work every day, 40 minutes home every night. Sometimes late, always in the dark these days. Usually on the interstate. I could have gotten into a major accident. Like an I-don't-have-health-insurance-how-am-I-going-to-pay-for-all-this accident.


So now, I'm trying frantically to get an appointment tomorrow morning before work to get some winter tires put on. I'm waiting for my usual service people to call me back, but if they don't soon I'm calling Tire Warehouse because I know they have an appointment available tomorrow morning. Also, I'm trying to see if my friend can come pick me up for the concert because I think making too many trips on these tires is a very, very bad idea. In fact, I'm pretty much terrified to drive my car.

I tell you, I am soooo ordering alcohol with my dinner tonight.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Take a Walk with Me

It's been unseasonably chilly lately. Today was "warmer" in that it was 36 degrees in the sun. 
There was such a wonderful interplay of shadows today!

I was obsessed with this mossy tree. Don't ask my why. I can't explain.
It's kinda hard to see, but there are some snow-capped mountains in this picture.
Me, resplendent in my "I'm not a deer, don't shoot me!' red cap.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Ice Ice Baby

So apparently we had some snow last night. And sleet, because I spent a good 15 minutes scraping my car off after I brushed the snow away.

The good news is, it'll be up in the 50's this weekend so it'll be short-lived. But the 40's and 50's will be even shorter lived, because it's mid-November in Vermont.

Let me tell you, the skiers are chomping at the bit.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Where the hell am I?

Have you ever looked around and thought to yourself "I'm supposed to be somewhere else"?

I just have this feeling lately that somehow I managed to get off the right path. Somehow I jumped paths and now I'm on this weird new one running parallel to the one I'm supposed to be on and it has more bumps and lumps and bushes and weeds and it just doesn't feel quite right. Not that it's entirely wrong but... like Alice down the rabbit hole, everything just seems slightly off kilter.

What's more is, I'm not sure how I managed to get on this parallel path or how to get back on the right one. Was I just not paying attention to where I was going and meandered over here? Did a butterfly flap its wings in the rainforest and boom here I am? Or am I on the right path going in the wrong direction?

All I know is, whether I'm on the wrong one or just going in the wrong direction, I want to right this.

Just give me a sign...

Monday, November 4, 2013


It's the first day of my week off and I get up early to go to the dentist. Where I find that I have two cavities that need filling so guess what I'm doing next Monday?

Later in the day (so, like, now) I'm sitting here watching Will and Grace reruns from 2006, to which I mentally say "oh hey, that's when my car Veronica was made." And then I realize that it is seven years old and I'm probably lucky to get three years out of it. I have a five-year loan on it.

I'm going to go hide under the covers until something better happens to me.

Happy Vacation.

So.... You Want to be an Artist.

For the last several weeks, I have been working through The Artist's Way . This book has been out since the 1990's and I've been...