Showing posts from October, 2013

I Wanna be the One... in Control

I guess I am truly a child of the 80's because you say "control" and I mentally go off on a Janet Jackson tangent.


I've been thinking a lot the past couple days about my need to control things. Okay, so I've been thinking a lot lately period, but this is one of the many other things I've been thinking about. Also on the list is my upcoming vacation, candy corn, and cheese. Oh, by the way I made it all the way to the end of day two of my cleanse before I had a run-in with the aforementioned cheese.

Wow, talk about tangents.

I'm getting a little worried that my need to be in control and to have things done "properly" is getting in the way of, well, playing nicely with others. I mean, who made me the boss? Who made my way the right way? The only way? When did I become the Puppet Master? I feel like I'm turning into Sheldon Cooper and whenever someone does something different from what I think should be done I have to tell them exactly…

What's This Crazy Girl Up To Now?

Okay, so first I need to get this out of the way:

Good? Very good.


So yesterday I was out and about doing my Fall Food Stocking Journey. Yes, the Costco run. I actually came in under budget there, and I do believe I'm the first person to ever say that. In addition to Costco, I went to a local health food store for a couple bulk items and local eggs, and this great store called Cheese Traders. They have fantastic cheeses (of course), great wines, interesting European foods, and so on and so forth. They also have an ever-changing selection of discounted items like over-stocks, dented cans (which are almost always organic) or discontinued items.

I was wandering around in there stocking up on dented organic bpa-free canned beans ($1.25 vs. $2.50, yo) when I wandered into the fridge section and found this:

I've been toying around with the idea of doing a juice cleanse/fast for a little while now, but did not want to go to the hassle or expense of a juicing machine and the en…

Nothing Much to See Here...

I guess I've been laying low for the last week or so. I've been concentrating a lot on work lately. With the slow time right around the corner, I'm taking every last opportunity I can to make a couple extra dollars.

I am taking some time off in a couple weeks. It's not enough time, but it'll have to do. I'm not going anywhere in particular, but again my staycation will have to do. What I really want to do is go to France for a couple weeks. Sigh. I don't think my credit card limit is high enough for that. Sigh. Goals... it is good to have goals.

The weather has definitely turned to late fall here. The temperature has finally dropped to the 40s/50s and I had to turn the heat on last week. Gulp. I have it set at 60 and it seems to be doing the trick. I think we are going to have a good old-fashioned New England winter this year. I think the snow is going to come early and stay late. The mountains have already had snow and when I drove in to work Saturday morn…

I Think Too Much

We're coming in to our slow time at work, and this year I am determined to not be caught unaware. Unlike last year when I had a major freakout. This year I've already set aside money for Christmas so I don't have to worry about going into debt for that. I am also planning a Costco run sometime in the next week or two to stock up on healthy food.

At some point in the last few days, I started examining my idea of stocking up in terms of the yamas and niyamas of yoga. Specifically aparigraha: the yama meaning "non-hoarding." Am I doing something responsible, making sure my own needs are being met? Or am I, in fact, hoarding food away because deep down I'm afraid of starving?

As a society, we are almost to a person all guilty of not following aparigraha. A capitalist society almost demands it as our economic backbone. Buy more, have more, more more more. If it's last year's model then throw it away for something newer and shinier. Watch home improvement s…

Yoga Flow


My Last Yoga Weekend Starts Today.

Tonight, I will take my written examination.

Tomorrow, I will teach a 20 minute session as my practical.

Sunday, I will be a yoga teacher.

I am not good with endings of this caliber, generally speaking. I know they must come and I accept them. It's not like something new and fabulous isn't just around the corner. But it takes me a little while to make the transition. I get a little lost in the "what now?" I get a little sad because something so big and wonderful is not there in my life anymore.

When I graduated from massage school, I wanted my friends and family to be there. I wanted to celebrate with them because it was a big deal to me. It was a big accomplishment of which I was justifiably proud.

This time around, the graduation is more subtle for me. This was a solitary, inward journey. The people who helped me the most though this journey were my fellow classmates. I know pretty much everyone else in class will have their family present during the open portion o…

T minus 3 Days and Counting

You don't count the day you're on, right?

I graduate from Yoga Teacher Training this weekend. Written test Friday evening (tomorrow. GAH). 20 minute Practical Teach Saturday (GAH GAH) and graduation on Sunday (PHEW).

Poetry Corner

It's been a while since I've posted my terrible, horrible, no-good poetry. Here you go! She said with an evil grin.

Most of these are several months old (at least) as I haven't had much time lately to sufficiently wallow in my emotions until a poem crapped out. But hey... yay for not wallowing!


Coming out of the Temple
and into the city
The shining, glorious city
of friends and family
those I love and who love me
past, present, future
Received with open arms
and smiles
Here, I am loved unconditionally
and those who couldn't show it before
now can, free from restraint
Somewhere, you are here
in this gleaming city
My heart shines
knowing this


I want to merge
I want to become one
entwined together
no ending, no beginning
just sinking
down, down
into each other
our molecules
The universe is us
and there is nothing else


Sit through it
Let the breath rise and fall
let the ears catch
the passing train
the tweeting bird
the passin…

My Job is to Help You Die

Savasana. Corpse Pose. Resting Pose. That pose at the end of every yoga class where you let go of all of the work. All you do is lay on the floor, but how deceptively simple is that? You let go of all regulation of the breath, all holding of the muscles, all chattering of the mind, and let be. The ground supports you and you simply are. As so many yoga teachers say at this point: "Nothing left to do."

Ironically, it is often referred to as one of the most difficult poses of a practice. People scoff at that, because how difficult is it to lay on the floor for five minutes? It's pretty damned difficult for a lot of people, and I see it every day in my job as a massage therapist.

I see people who get on my table who can't lay still for five minutes, let alone an hour. They twitch, they itch, they adjust; for some injuries or years-old holding patterns simply won't let them lay comfortably. In other cases, unacknowledged guarding or patterns developed for safety has …

I Don't Even Remember My Last Post.


Between studying for my yoga final test, freaking out about my yoga final practical, trying to fit in all of my chores and oh yeah working my butt off at work, I just haven't had time post much here.

So, uh, what's new with you?

My dear friend Marie came up this past weekend to hang out and we had so much fun. Lots of catching up, a little bit of shopping, more food than either of us really needed but whatevs, and a spur-of-the-moment mani/pedi session. Well, she got the mani/pedi, I just got a pedi. So much fun.

So instead, I leave you with some pictures that were taken over the last week or two. It's peak leaf season here, and the colors are gorgeous. Even us native Vermonters have been craning our necks and taking pictures. Because how can you not when it's this amazing?