Fears

Last night I was giving myself some Reiki before bed... okay, I was already in bed. But I was still giving myself Reiki while I was all comfy and cozy with the blankets pulled up, the pillows fluffed up, and the A/C on. Yes, I use an A/C in the summer, but just in the bedroom and only while I'm sleeping. Have you met me when I don't get enough sleep? Trust me, I'm doing humanity a favor.

ANYWAY.

While I was doing some Reiki, a whole bunch of my fears popped up. You know... the deep ones, not the spider and costumed characters variety (as if they aren't bad enough. Shudder).
This is Bob. If he doesn't scare you then you probably have snakes
or a tarantula for a pet. To which I must say go home.

These are the fears that you don't like to admit to yourself, let alone anyone else. They unconsciously dictate what you do and say, and how you interact with others. You are unwittingly trying to make sure that those deep darkies never come true because HOW BAD WOULD THAT BE?

I decided that the best way to get past some of these would be to drag them out into the harsh light of day and let them flop around a bit. Maybe they are like vampires and would start smoking and then explode in a pile of goo? Maybe True Blood was a hair too graphic with that? I digress. And obviously by all these jokes I am making I am putting it off and trying to make light of the fact these things fucking scare me. Ha ha... talk about unconscious actions.

My Fears

  • My biggest fear is that I am going to end up alone, senile and resented by my family members for being so damned stubborn like my Great Aunt Beetee.
  • I am afraid of the nothingness that comes with death.
  • I am afraid that I will never get to experience having my own family.
  • I am afraid that I will never find Love.
  • I am afraid that sooner or later everyone I know will realize that I am a selfish, mean person.
  • I am afraid of the dark
  • I am afraid that some day I will lose myself in my own imagination and never find my way back.

Yep. These are the things that terrify me.

These and costumed characters.

Shudder.

Evil, I tells you. Pure evil.

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