Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Blue

Yesterday, the clouds cleared out and the sky was a gorgeous blue. It's been so long I'd forgotten that it was supposed to be like that!
Now that's more like it!
The water levels are going back down and while there are still some roads out in the back country, everyone is (for the most part) fine and dandy. No one will be swimming in the Lake for a while due to advisories, but it's a little chilly for that anyway. There have been frost advisories the last couple nights.

That's right... I've had to turn the heat back on, it got so cold.

Thankfully, temps will be coming back up in the next couple days so I can turn the heat off again. Actually, I just did that. Holy crap, it's after Memorial Day, the heat should not be on! We will not talk about the people who went skiing on Memorial Day because the mountains got like a foot of snow.

What a wild May it's been.

Everyone got their lawn mowers out yesterday. After four and a half days trapped inside, everyone was itching to get out and used any excuse to do so.

I'm just glad the sun is out.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Glub Glub

It's been raining pretty much non-stop since 5p Thursday afternoon, when we got some torrential downpours. That lasted for a couple hours, but it hasn't really stopped since then. I don't mean, light drizzly stuff either, although we've had that. For the most part, it's been rain. The good soaking kind. Unless it's been raining for 72 hours straight and then its the "oh look that stream just crested its banks and will I even be able to use this road tomorrow?" kind.

The town I'm in now was hit by Tropical Storm Irene a couple years ago. Although it wasn't hit nearly as bad as some other towns further south, people are just now finally getting their homes back the way they were. So, I'm sure I'm not the only one watching the rising river with trepidation.

Taken yesterday at around 4p. I'm a little scared to go down this morning and see where the water is. Because, as you can see, the only place for the water to go is over and out.

The rain is supposed to taper off today and we're supposed to have sun tomorrow. Everything is water logged and it's going to take some time to dry out. Unfortunately, we've got thunderstorms on tap for the rest of the week. Hopefully those don't materialize because we've got no place to put the water.

Who's got a drought? How can we get this water to you? Happy to share.

PS: did I mention today's high is 43 degrees? FARENHEIT? There's a foot of snow on the mountain today. It's Memorial Day weekend... enough already!!!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

It's Working.

This past weekend was a yoga teacher training weekend for me. Ahhh. I love these weekends. I always end up floating in bliss for days.

This time we focused on the heart. Bhakti Yoga is yoga of the heart. But it's more than that. It's offering your whole self - heart, love, actions, everything - up to the Divine. We talked about the Bhagavad-Gita, one of the important texts from ancient India that support the yogic tradition. Which has led me to get my copy of the epic poem out and and re-read it. I'm highlighting every other stanza. It's a good thing.

On our first evening of the weekend, we got to talking about how many people start down the path, but not so many people stay on it. You see, once the yoga starts working, I mean really working, it gets hard. And I don't mean pretzel-pose hard. I mean, oh my god everything I thought was true is just this story I told myself so I wouldn't huddle in the corner crying.

And then you find yourself huddling in the corner, crying.

The thing is, it's hard but it's good. But if you're not ready for the hard, the easiest thing to do is to find another path to be on. Which is what I did a few years ago. For a while, I was super into yoga. I went at least once a week, sometimes twice. Every week for a year and a half solid. And then I went to massage school, and then I got busy, and then... well. I stopped. Maybe I'd go once every six months or so but that's it. These last few months are the deepest I've delved into the practice in a very long time.

And it's starting to get hard.

The tears are there, just under the surface. All the time. I don't even particularly know what they're about, and even while I feel the weight of the sadness there is an underlying joy and bliss. I've been saying for a little while now that there is a whopper of a release at some point in my future. I don't know when or where (or even what I'm releasing), but you know what? It's okay.

Because when it gets hard, it's working.


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Salty Goodness

A couple weekends ago, my friend Jen, her sister and myself went back down to the salt cave as part of our on-going birthday festivities. Which lasted close to a week. Fun!

While I was there, I took the birthday money Mom gave me and purchased a salt lamp. I should have saved it for grocery money. But pffft. That's no fun. I've been wanting one of these for over a year now and I figured why not now?

Himalayan Salt is found guess where? In the Himalayas. Although the salt is found in Poland and Iran, too. Current theory is that it's found in areas that haven't been exposed to the typical toxins normally found in the atmosphere and seas where our usual salt is found. You can read all about it here if you like. You can ingest it, or you can simply hang out in it to get the benefits. Hence the salt cave and salt lamp. The over all idea of the salt lamp is that the salt is a natural ionizer, and by heating up the salt (gently) it purifies the air. Again, which you can read about here.

Does it really work? Some people will say yes, some people will call shenanigans. For me, I believe it works. I know the salt cave works. I wouldn't have gone back a second time if it didn't. I'd love to go back again. For me, it works on an energetic level. And considering that I am often in other people's energy professionally, getting a good cleaning every once in a while helps.

My salt lamps moves about my apartment. If I'm having a day off and not going anywhere, it sits on my living room altar, nicely lit and giving off a soothing orangey-red glow.
My altar, which I use mainly when doing yoga. Because it's nicer to look at than my refrigerator.

I move it into my bedroom about an hour before bed and turn it on in there to clear it out. It has helped me sleep better. I can't sleep with it on, unfortunately, but I think even just having it in there without the lamp on provides benefits.

And maybe it's all in my head. But if I'm feeling the benefits, does it really matter? Not at all.

So purty.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Once Upon A Time

After writing yesterday's post, I started going through my old journals. I figured, if I'm going to get rid of them I need to do the Me that Was some justice and read through them one last time. Most of them, I haven't cracked open in years. I haven't gone near them since I wrote on the last page and filed it away for posterity.

I settled in to read the very first journal, the one I started in junior high but didn't really start using until college. I was prepared to flip through and be done with it in just 20 minutes, but I found something in there. I found something good. So I started reading it in earnest. And I found more good things.

I'm still not all the way through the first journal, but I'm thinking to myself "Self, you may have a book here."

I don't know what or how or when, but I could see it. I could see the layout of it. And then I saw a different but equally interesting layout of it. And then I saw the title:

Brain Farts

I think I need to work on the title. The scary thing is, I can see the cover art for that title too. Which I would totally mock up and post here if it wasn't for the fact I lost my bootleg version of Photoshop last year when my hard drive crashed.

I've spoken about writing a book on many occasions, and this is about as far as it's ever gotten. We'll see if this project gets off the ground. Or not. But it's given me new respect for the Me in those pages. Maybe we'll hold on to her a while longer. Just because the stories are over and done does not mean they still don't have a lesson to teach.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Stories.

Last night I came to the end of my latest journal. I've been keeping them on and off since junior high. Back then, they were mostly filled with "I think Corey Haim is cute" and "so-and-so is so cute, I wish he liked me". And how badly am I dating myself by saying that 1) I had a crush on Corey Haim and 2) he died a few years ago of a drug overdose? Sigh.

Twelve books in all, starting in 19mufflemuffle

There are a lot of pent-up emotions in those books. Page after page of frustration, anxiety, confusion, pain and anger. There are good bits in it as well, to be sure. But for the most part, those journals were the friend I could confide in when I thought no one else cared. They were the stories I told myself, the ones where I was never good enough, that I was never brave enough, that no one would ever love me because I wasn't worth loving. You know, the stories that come from your Shadow Self, that place of deep fear and pain.

Lately, I've been asking myself if keeping these stories is doing me any good. Sure, in the short term, they did. I was able to voice the pain somewhere and that was a good thing. To get it out is better than to keep it in. But the larger issue is, I've still kept the pain. Moving it from place to place as I move, this time storing the pain in the closet because there was no room anywhere else. Am I getting anything out of keeping these stories? Is there any value to it?

I have been working a lot these last few months of letting go of the stories that are holding me back. They don't define me; they don't comprise the whole of who I am. They are things that happened to me. Some of them, a very long time ago. So why am I still pulling those stories out like badges of malevolent honor?

I don't know if I'm going to buy another journal. I am thinking very seriously of burning those that I do have. There is a lot of my tortured heart and soul poured into those pages. Maybe it's time to purge the pain and free myself from those age old stories.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Wherein I Go to NYC and Have a Ball

It's been like two weeks since I posted, hasn't it? But OMG I've been so busy! And for most of this past week, not here. As a slightly early birthday present to myself I went down to New York City for a few days to hang with my college buddies.

I was supposed to fly down late Monday morning and be in the City by 12:30 or so, but there was some aircraft issues and I didn't take off until 3:00. At one point they actually had to move the plane away from the gate so another plane to NYC could come in, land and take off. I thought it was all an adventure (thank you yoga for teaching me how to reframe things), but there were a lot of people getting frustrated. Some with connections managed to get on the second flight and some just said bugger it and decided not to go because at this point their plans were moot. I got to where I was going eventually, and got a $75 credit with the airline so I'm content with things.

I made it in the City in time to make it to a Peter Tork concert. In case you didn't know (I certainly didn't), he was one of the Monkees. My friend is a bit of a Monkees nut so she dragged me to the show. I will admit, I had visions of 60's kitsch running through my head, but it was a good show. The music was acoustic and the songs were nicely arranged.
I have absolutely no idea who those two guys are in the front. They were sitting at our table and somehow got into our photo. I'm sitting next to Peter Tork. It was kinda awkward because I am the only non-Monkees geek in the photo.

Tuesday was sunny and gorgeous, so my friend Tammy and I wandered up to Fort Tyron Park and The Cloisters and had lunch and a meander up there. It was absolutely beautiful.
Taken from the Cafe courtyard inside the Cloisters. Gorgeous day. Everything was in full bloom.

Tammy had some appointments later that afternoon, so I headed downtown to visit with my friend Barb, whom I hadn't seen since shortly after graduating college. We had loads of fun catching up.
We each had two of those Margaritas. And nachos. And I still managed to find my way back home.

Wednesday started out rainy and dreary, but by the time we got going the rain had let up enough to wander around Central Park.
View of Central Park... West? Pretty sure West.

So we did that for a while, stopping by Strawberry Fields along the way because you kinda have to if you're over there.
30 seconds after taking this picture we were inundated by a high school tour group. We ran for our lives.

We also went to the Central Park Zoo, which both Tammy and I had never been to before. Dawn (our companion for Wednesday) had a pass so she got me in for free and we snuck Tammy in when the guy was distracted. Shhhh. Don't tell. We arrived just in time for the feeding of the sea lions, so we got ourselves a show.
I'm a sea lion. I do tricks and get paid in fish.

After that, we wandered into FAO Schwartz because they were doing a Fraggle Rock celebrationy kind of thing. Which was cool.
Fraggle Photo Bomb!

And on Thursday I made my way back to Vermont and crashed. Only to pick myself back up again for Birthday Festivities. Which will be another blog post. Hopefully before 2 weeks are come and gone.

Today, You are Ten

Well, as far as we know, anyway. We're not sure of your exact birthday, so we use your "Gotcha Day" instead. You've been...