Yeah... I don't know what that is.
Historically, money has never really stressed me out. I've always managed to live within my means, even if it meant a very simple, humble life. I was okay with it. I knew nothing else so it was a non-issue.
But up until now, even my tiny paychecks were consistent. I knew what I was going to make on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. That's all gone out the window. This is really the first time where I've had to struggle with a paycheck that could be fantastic one week and pitiful the next. At my last place of work, even though I was doing massage, it was busy enough so the paychecks were fairly consistent. Not here.
I am extremely worried about what will happen come spring. It is the norm in this profession to work at two or three different places. I struggle with this, as I come from a business background where you work at just one place, full-time. That is what I personally prefer to do, but I am learning that is not what my pocketbook prefers.
I won't be able to teach yoga until September or October at the earliest, which means I'll need to find somewhere else to work for late spring and summer. I could theoretically go back to my old place of work... they are always hiring and would take me back in an instant. But I have been warned by a couple of my friends who are still there NOT to come back. I take their advice seriously. I left for a reason, and it sounds as though I got out at the right time.
I am trying to let go and trust that the right thing will come along, but it is hard when I pay my credit card every month and the balance doesn't demonstrably go down. I guess I know where my tax return is going this year....
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