I'm just tired.
Performing has become a chore. It has become a game of "these guys were nice enough to come all the way up here for us, of course I'll drive two hours to do your show after I've worked a full shift." Every time a new performance comes up, it becomes a mix of excitement and dread. Every time I try to meet up with my troupe mates it becomes a massive email of who can meet when and no matter when it is, I always feel like it ends up taking time away from something (someone) else. Choreographing for the troupe is like pulling teeth.
All of this is completely normal.
And I'm just tired of it.
Of course, I'm pretty sure there are other things going on here (none of which I'll get into, even on a blog that like only seven people read. Because you never know). But right now this is like the most tangible thing I can put on the back burner for a while.
I don't know. I haven't said anything to anyone, because really I haven't made any decisions about anything. And maybe it's just that time of year when all I want to do is hole up and wait for the sun to come back.
I don't know.
|Me at my last performance. I may be off my game, but at least the picture is good!|