I know I've mentioned this before. I'm feeling it more and more. I've got a quickie performance at a local retirement home this Thursday and I don't want to do it. I've got a thing coming up November 17th and I don't want to do it. I've got a thing December 1st and I Don't. Want. To Do. It.
I have lost the joy dance once brought me. I'm sick of phoning in "performances". I'm sick of forgotten choreography and excuses for not showing up to rehearsals. I'm heartbroken over the loss of my quirky, fun dance gals. I'm resentful and angry that I've been put into the position where something that meant so much to me has been tarnished by other people's dramas.
I need to find the freedom and joy that it used to bring me. I need to find music that moves me to my bones until I can't help but move.
I need to find the pleasure in the dance again, and I'm not quite sure how to do it.
|A blurry image of me in my first belly dance performance, ever. Back when I put the effort into it.|