The continuing education seminar was great. I learned some wonderful new things that I fully intend on integrating into my practice. It also challenged me on many different levels. It challenged me to:
- let go of my need to control and judge ("If *I* was running this training, I would have....)
- let go of my fear of being judged and hear constructive criticism as helpful instead of hurtful
- trust in the process of learning
- let go of my need to do everything right first time out
I really had some serious issues going on with the second one. There were multiple times where I felt unfairly singled out and that I was constantly being told I was wrong. I was very close to tears because of frustration, especially on Day Three. Of course, sheer exhaustion and information overload had nothing do to with that, I'm sure.
There was a lot of information was squeezed into a short time frame - and for a modality that could be a year long training, three 10-hour days is a short span of time. The reality is, it's going to take some time to digest and integrate everything. Because so much was taught in such a little time, there wasn't much opportunity to go off and play around with things until I became comfortable. Which is how I learn. Give me the information, let me go off and toy around with it and if I need help I'll ask for it. Since there was no opportunity for that, helpful advice was misread as "you're wrong."
I am glad I took this training. I learned some new techniques that are going to help me with things I have been struggling with. What I need now is some time to ground myself back into me. To deal with the tiredness and to give my brain a little break. I need to take a walk in the glorious pre-fall day we have today. I need to bring myself back home. I am thankful I have the time to do that today. Because I feel like I will be more able to move forward with the new tools I have.