What the heck was that?

I try to self-Reiki every night, usually as I'm laying in bed but before I actually go to sleep. Actually, it helps me sleep and it's pretty common for me to drift off as I'm doing it. Which, unlike falling asleep during meditation, is completely okay. The Reiki will often continue to flow regardless of whether or not I'm awake.

Last night I must have drifted off as I was doing this, because all of the sudden I was jolted awake by... something. It felt like a huge scary thing was released. I have absolutely no idea what let go, but it was most definitely something that was causing me fear, as that's what I felt leaving me.

I drifted back to sleep quickly and easily and pretty much forgot all about it until like an hour ago when I couldn't figure out why the heck I have absolutely no energy today. It's a gorgeous day outside and it's a free day for me so I should be out living it to the fullest. But all I can manage is switching from What Not To Wear to House Hunters to Barefoot Contessa.

I don't often acknowledge how draining going through emotional... shit can be. I'm from good ol' Yankee Stock, which means all too often my advice to myself is "stop feeling sorry for yourself. Suck it up and get on with things." Which sometimes is good advice, especially when you find yourself wallowing. But sometimes, when you've been dealing with stuff and working through stuff and letting stuff go, you're much better off being gentle with yourself. All that baggage releasing takes an energetic toll and if what is going to help you recharge is to become one with your couch named Esmerelda, then it is perfectly okay to do that.

Just, y'know, not for a month.

Comments

MarieGray said…
That's scary shit right there. :( FIgured out yet what it was?

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