Monday, July 30, 2012

Wiped.

It's Monday. I just need to make it to Thursday. Thursday starts five days in a row with no work. Thursday leads to Friday, and Friday I head down to Florida for four days of fun, sun, and - here's the kicker - NO WORK.

I am exhausted. Work is quite literally a chore. I have no idea how I made it through my massages yesterday. I'm not entirely convinced I was awake through all of them. You sit down to do the head or the feet... you close your eyes so you can "hear" the muscles... the music is soothing... you get in the groove.... wait, how long have I been doing this one stroke?

Five days is not enough. My hands feel like they are swollen all. the. time. All I want to do it sit. Or better, lay. The reality is I need a solid month so my body can heal the damage, but this isn't going to happen. So I'm going to take my five days. I need to cram a lot into my first day (laundry, packing, yoga, cleaning the house so I don't come home to a sty), but I am going to give myself permission to sleep. I will sleep until I wake up. If I need to stop what I'm doing and take a nap, that's fine. If I end up taking three naps over the course of the day, that's fine too. It means I might actually have the energy to have fun while I'm in Florida.

At some point, it will actually sink in that I can't follow corporate America's lead of "one week off a year" and still hope to be any good at my job. People come to me because they only have one week off a year and need a way to cope with the exhaustion and stress. If I'm coping with the same issues no one is going to feel better. Not me, not them.

So, time to give a little back to myself.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

It's Done.

Sunday evening, I sent THE email. The one that let everyone know that Monday, August 20th would be my last day at Old Place. I later learned that four other people gave notice last week, too. That doesn't include the round of Mass Exodus that happened last month.

If this were any other business, this kind of turnover would spark a desperate frenzy. However, this being massage it simply means people are moving on. The massage industry tends to be rather fluid and it is rare to find someone who sticks in a place longer than a year. I have been at Old Place for just over two years (on my last day, it will be two years, one month, two weeks and one day). Trust me, I have felt every last second of it.

I have no doubt I will work every bit as hard at New Place (soon to be just Work) as I did at the old. The difference is, the pace is a bit more manageable and I actually get paid what I'm worth. Which makes a huge difference.

In other news, I went to my first yoga class in nine months last week. This week, I will go again. I am attempting to develop an at-home practice, as well as being a bit more resolute with my meditation. I have printed out the required reading book list for the yoga training and will be setting tip money aside to pay for them (after I save up enough for a new ipod. Priorities). I am determined to be successful at the yoga teacher training.

Still not entirely sure where the down payment is going to come from, but I'll find it somewhere. I want this. It will happen.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Change, yo

Today when I go into Old Work, I will be looking at my schedule to see when my last day will be. This evening, when I return home I will be writing an email of resignation. I would much prefer to do it in person, but all of the managers and the owner will be out of town until Wednesday. In this particular business, the sooner I can get off the schedule the easier it is for everyone. Easier to transition out for me, easier for my clients to transition to new therapists, and easier for the front desk girls because they won't have to call a dozen or more clients to break the bad news.

This is scary as fuck, yo.

I am taking a huge risk by putting all of my eggs in one basket, especially in the off-season. I have great faith in New Place, and I know if I can make it through the summer and into the fall I will be set. But as I have said before, I'm not particularly good at taking risks. Especially when finances are involved. This is my livelihood we're talking about.

So maybe I'll have to be more picky with my organic purchases. So maybe I'll have to bump down my cable subscription, or worse, give it up all together. Maybe not for worse, but I like my cable damn it. Maybe I'll have to pick up a part-time job.

I just need to move forward, and I can't do that with one foot in the past.

So, I'm yanking my foot out of the past and placing it in the present. It's a pretty good place to be right now, so I might as well stick around for it.

I will be okay.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Magical Peas

Aren't they adorable?
My magical seven pea pods. My bumper crop. This is probably going to be the extent of my pea experiment, because already the vines are drying up and looking kinda pathetic. But maybe I'll get another pod or two.

I was originally going to save them for something. I don't know what, as there was approximately one pea per pod. I ended up eating them straight. Oh. My. Dear. LORD. Those were some of the tastiest peas I have eaten straight out of the pod, like ever.

Who needs candy when you've got peas? Seriously!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Yoga

Yesterday, I took my first yoga class after nine months. WOW. It was a good class. For the first time in I don't know how long, my hamstrings got a good stretch. I mean, I've always been a little more bendy than normal, but I was getting deeper into positions than I ever have before. Even King Pigeon Pose - one of my nemeses because my IT bands are too tight to make it comfortable - was doable yesterday.
Courtesy of Yoga Journal. 

Granted, I don't look anything like this when I do the pose (my IT band just won't let my leg do that) but still!

I was really nervous that I would be unable to move today, but I'm not that sore. Don't get me wrong, there is definitely a little soreness there, but I think if I keep moving today I'll "walk it off". Which just inspires me to do more yoga.

If I am serious about starting the teacher training next year, I'm going to need to get in shape, yogically. That means I need to recommit to weekly classes again, and develop a more formal practice here at home. When I first started yoga, I went every Saturday morning; it was simply part of my routine. I need to do that again. Not every Saturday necessarily; that no longer works for me. But I have the time, and the money is not so bad that I can't afford $13 a week for self-care. Which is really what this is. I have been terrible about self-care and I need to be more diligent about that.

I think finding my yoga practice again will help with that.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Forward Momentum

This past Sunday evening, I put it out there that I was in desperate need of a Reiki treatment. I give myself Reiki treatments almost daily, but sometimes you just need someone with a little more experience to "clean out" all the places you miss. Kinda like a dentist. Only way less invasive and WAY more enjoyable.

My friend Terrie (who initiated me into both Usui Reiki 1 and 2) was kind enough to fit me in on Monday morning. I was surprised and extremely grateful for this. I've been feeling stuck for a while regarding my current professional situation and I needed to either be unstuck, have the way cleared, or just plain receive some insights on my next steps.

Terrie integrates aromatherapy into her Reiki sessions, and hoo-boy, let me tell you! If you ever find anyone in your area who does this, I highly recommend it! It both deepens and enhances the experience. Especially if they are tailoring the scents to your needs.

After one hour of Reiki, I was flying high. I was disturbingly perky and I was tingly and energized and just feeling great. I felt lighter, as if things I had been holding on to had been released. Which is a good thing as that is what I wanted. The main thing I was able to let go of was my fear of risk in moving forward. All this time, I could see what I wanted; I just couldn't get there because "the risk" was just too great in my eyes.

The Reiki helped me let go of that. The reality is, I can move forward in the way I want. If it is meant to work out, the road will clear and it will work out. If it is not meant, the road will put up road blocks and shift me to another road. And that's okay too.

So, to that end, when I got home I put out feelers to extending my hours at the job I currently prefer. I also put out feelers for a local 200 hour yoga teacher training starting in January. I have received return messages to the positive in both.

I am starting my forward momentum again, and it feels wonderful.

Pollinatin' Positivity

Saturday, July 14, 2012

*Whomp*

That's me, hitting the wall.

Again.

I need to start being much more proactive about self-care. I can't keep working working working until all of the sudden I start sleeping 10 hours straight and my energy level tanks and "deep tissue" turns into "is it okay if I sit on you for an hour because that's about all I can do."

So, yeah.

I've got a long weekend coming up in a couple weeks. I'm flying down to Florida (yes, in August) and seeing one of my dear friends who will be on break from nursing school.
Taken the last time I visited my dear friend Alex in Florida. We were at the Harry Potter rides at Universal.
Say "Hi" Alex! Make sure you have lots of alcohol.

Nursing is going to be her second career. We were both marketing coordinators with the same company back in the day. I love hearing about people's second careers. It seems like first careers are often things people either fall into or think they should do and second careers are those secret dreams that get pushed off to the side for something more stable or secure.

Anyway, I'm not sure I'm going to make it to that little holiday. I've got approximately two weeks to go. Two weeks of working. Two weeks of forearms that have been protesting and may well give out on me at any minute. Two weeks of standing on legs that would much rather not be in use.

I can NOT wait for pool-side cocktails.

Monday, July 9, 2012

The Great Experiment

My peas are viney, lovely things. Although looking a little sparse and drying out at the bottom. I'm trying not to be concerned. And yes, I'm watering them!

I have lovely little flowers! Which I cannot seem to take a picture of to save my life.

My tomatoes are super crowded together. Although, I think my lettuce is on the way out, so if that ends up being the case, I'm going to transplant some of these into that pot.

Friday, July 6, 2012

I Love Farmer's Markets!

The Richmond Farmer's Market is quite small, with only a few vendors. Oh, but look at the haul!

Blueberries! Raspberries! Baby potatoes! Cherry tomatoes! Carrots! A loaf of french bread!

Sacre bleu!

Nom nom nom nom nom....

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Small Town 4th of July

Who doesn't love a parade? Join me, will you? The nice thing about this is I edited out all of the politicians, so you only get the fun bits! You're welcome.

A beautiful day for a parade in Central Vermont

People are waiting high and low for the parade to begin

Two dapper horses pull the Grand Marshall along the route

The darned bagpipes tear me up every time. Doesn't matter *what* they're playing! It must be the Scots in me.

Old timey fire truck

Disturbing costume

Git your patriotism right here, folks!

Save our Strays

A very stylish horse rockin' the patriotic leg warmers

Thanks, Guys!

It's the Blues Mobile!

Huntington VT Fire and Rescue SnoCat. Because yeah, most winters we need it.

Super Soakers Welcome!

Richmond Community Band

Red, White and Moo

We here in Vermont love our cows...

The only bit of "hippy" I'm adding here (and there was more). The Solar bus has solar panels on the top and runs on that, with biodiesel.

Yee-haw!

Thanks, guys!

I think these guys were the most popular. They were towards the end, and throwing ice pops!

Uncle Sam on Stilts ends the parade.
Now, if you don't mind I'm going to take me and my sunburned self and see if I can't find a hot dog or two before I have to head up to work. Stay safe and Happy 4th of July!

Monday, July 2, 2012

What I'm Currently Working On

HP_216_SalambaSirsasana_248
Courtesy of Yoga Journal. You can go here to see the full entry and learn how to do this yourself.


It's called "Salamba Sirsasana" or supported headstand. It's supported because you link your fingers together and create a support for your head. Some of the benefits of this pose include:
  • relief of stress and mild depression
  • strengthens the arms, legs and spine
  • strengthens the lungs (something I need as I have the lung capacity of a turnip)
  • improves digestion
  • therapeutic for asthma, infertility, insomnia and sinusitis
For the longest time, I've had an aversion to inversions. I'm not sure why that is. While everyone else in class (okay, I admit it has been six months since my last class. Don't judge me) is up against the wall or on their mats doing headstands, I'm the one doing a modified child's pose because it is the only inversion that does not give me distress.

I've long told myself that I would not be ready to take a yoga teacher training course until I could do a headstand in the middle of the room without killing myself. It is only a semi-arbitrary "rule". There are some schools who use that as a general indication that you have the ability to follow through with the rigorous training process. Personally, I think it is a good benchmark, which is why I adopted it. And, quite possibly, why I've been "working" on it for four years now. By working on it, I of course mean not doing anything about it.

Until now.

For the last couple weeks or so, I've been taking a few minutes every evening and turning myself upside down. With varying degrees of success. But tonight was a real success. I held the headstand for maybe 30 seconds without breaking and without using the wall as support. I was upside down, on my own. And it was spectacular.

I am on my way.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Hello, Old Friend

I'm considering vegetarianism again. Not on a full-time basis, but more as a mindful way of eating. Although, I'm hesitant about it. Mainly because when I try to apply "rules" to my eating, bad things happen. Mainly I start getting out of control about it.

I've done very well sticking to local, grass-fed animal products (I even found milk from grass-fed cows, can you believe it?!) and I do my best to keep meat as a complement to the meal instead the center of it. Most days.

I guess I'm looking at it more as a cleansing process. I dunno. It's kind of just sitting around in the wings. I suppose I just need to start working more veggie meals into my daily routine without making a big deal of it. Which I have a difficult time with because I love to think about food and plan food and food and food and food!!!!

Sigh.

Yeah... no "rules" are good for me. So we shall see.

So.... You Want to be an Artist.

For the last several weeks, I have been working through The Artist's Way . This book has been out since the 1990's and I've been...