My Internal 5-Year-Old is Alive and Well

Last night I tried to go to bed. Three times. The first time, I noticed that the closet door was open a crack. That meant that I had to not only check the closet to make sure no one was hiding in it, but I had to also check the storage closet in the living room, including the big-ass suitcase to make sure no one was hiding in it. The only reason why I didn't check behind the shower curtain was that I'd recently taken a shower and knew for certain no one was hiding behind it.


The second time I tried to go to bed, I no sooner turned off the light when I realized it was too friggin' dark in the apartment. So I got up and turned the sink light on in the kitchen. I went back to bed. Realized that was too close to the bedroom and was too bright. So I got up again, turned off the kitchen light and turned on the bathroom light.

Ahhhhh, just right. I was able to burrow comfortably in my bed, secure in the fact that if anyone was walking around the apartment and came into my bedroom, I would be able to see them.

Hello, my name is Kate and I am afraid of the dark and at 38, my imagination still regularly runs away with me.


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