Sunday, February 26, 2012

You Know that Dream You've Always Had?

Especially you office workers... the one where you take an entire month off and do pretty much anything you want?

I think I may try to do that this year.

I know, crazy right? Well, I've started putting tip money away. I'm thinking it will be one of the mid/late summer months, depending on how quickly the money adds up. If I can save $1,500 to $2,000 in cash tips to cover a month's expenses, I'm going to do it. I won't be living high on the hog or really going anywhere, but if I'm careful it can be done.

Oh, to have a carefree month in the summer. What would that be like as an adult? I'd really like to find out!
young girl relaxing on beach Stock Photo - 7786818

Friday, February 24, 2012

Yeah, so...

After piling rule upon rule for what constituted "junk food" and "minimally processed" food, I decided that for Lent, I'm going to give up being so damned hard on myself.

Lent is about sacrifice. I mean, I don't know much about it not coming from a Catholic background, but I do know that. But even more so, it's about bettering yourself, making your life a better one. So if instead of giving up the symptom (junk food) I give up the dis-ease (being so hard on myself I turn to junk food to feel better), I feel like I'm getting to the heart of what Lent is really all about.

Y'know, not really knowing anything about it and not taking the five minutes and Wiki'ing it.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Apparently today Lent starts. Did you know that? I didn't know that. Heck, I was unaware that yesterday was Mardi Gras until halfway through the day.

That's what happens when you spend your days locked in a dark room.

One of my friends on Facebook is going to follow a diet for Lent. Which I think is a wonderful idea. It got me thinking about what I should do for Lent. I'm not Catholic - not really anything for that matter - but I like the idea of sacrificing something for several days.

My first thought was "I'm going to give up all processed foods", but then I realized that I drink soy milk, have ground coffee, store-bought bread and pasta sauce. Most of which would go bad if I left them half-eaten for 40 days. Which I think would be the antithesis of Lent. Waste is not Holy. It says so in the Bible. Somewhere. I'm sure.

So, I think for the next 40 days I'm going to give up junk food and as much processed food as I can. Which, considering we had a chips n' dip lapse Sunday evening would not be a bad thing. So, all junk food. No french fries, no chips, certainly no dip, no chocolate, no candy (which I don't eat much of anyway), no cookies... nothing.

I'll finish up the 1/4 loaf of store-bought white italian bread that's not in the freezer, and then no more for the next 40 days. Yogurt and the soy milk will be okay. Ground coffee will be okay. The sugar in my coffee is okay as I use turbinado and I don't feel guilty. But no added sugar to anything else. The pasta sauce - since it's open - is okay. The pasta is not, even though it's whole wheat. The pepperoni is not okay. I haven't decided about cheese yet. Maybe block cheese only?

I dunno. I've only been awake for 40 minutes. Give me a break.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Little Things

1. I love going to bed to the wonderful smell of broth being born in the crock pot, and waking up to discover the beautiful golden liquid all ready to go. Our poor grandmas had to simmer this stuff all. day. long. We can just dump it in a crock pot and go to bed.

2. At night sometimes, my mind won't shut off. It ruminates on things I'd rather go to sleep to block out. When this happens, I start counting all the blessing I have right in that moment. I have a soft comfortable bed to sleep in, with pillows and blankets to keep me warm. I have a wonderful apartment to shelter me. I have enough food to eat. I have a teddy bear that shows me unconditional love. I love and am loved. I don't have it so bad, and whatever is hurting me in that moment is temporary and will pass. And if it needs to be dealt with, it will be. Tomorrow.

3. I'm sleeping better with a nightlight on in the kitchen. Don't judge.

4. If I'm serious about taking a month off from work (and I want to be), I need to start saving money. NOW.

5. I'm doing MyPlate again and trying to be serious about it. I lost 1.3 pounds last week and am very happy for that. I've shifted my goal somewhat. At one point, I wanted to get down to 135, where I was able to hold my weight for almost 10 years. At this point, if I could get down to 137, I'd be happy. Hell, if I could get below 140 I'd be thrilled. I'm doing it a little differently this time around. I'm trying to keep my total calories eaten in a day between 1,600 and 2,000. Things start going "in the red" if you go over your target caloric intake, but I'm trying to tell myself so long as I stay under 2,000 I'm still eating less. And I can only go over 1,600 if I am truly hungry... which I sometimes am. Being strict and lenient at the same time is hard.

6. Valentine's Day was a total bust. It also brought forward some deeper issues that need to be addressed if we're going to be successful. I want us to be successful. I so do. We're about three months in again and this is where we fell apart last time, and what I want more than anything is to get past this and keep going. Together. It's on my mind and in my heart. I worry that it will fall apart again, and I hope that this time it won't.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

My Internal 5-Year-Old is Alive and Well

Last night I tried to go to bed. Three times. The first time, I noticed that the closet door was open a crack. That meant that I had to not only check the closet to make sure no one was hiding in it, but I had to also check the storage closet in the living room, including the big-ass suitcase to make sure no one was hiding in it. The only reason why I didn't check behind the shower curtain was that I'd recently taken a shower and knew for certain no one was hiding behind it.


The second time I tried to go to bed, I no sooner turned off the light when I realized it was too friggin' dark in the apartment. So I got up and turned the sink light on in the kitchen. I went back to bed. Realized that was too close to the bedroom and was too bright. So I got up again, turned off the kitchen light and turned on the bathroom light.

Ahhhhh, just right. I was able to burrow comfortably in my bed, secure in the fact that if anyone was walking around the apartment and came into my bedroom, I would be able to see them.

Hello, my name is Kate and I am afraid of the dark and at 38, my imagination still regularly runs away with me.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Costco, Ahoy!

I got off early today (it's been a blissfully easy week this week, and I'm sure I'll more than make up for it soon), so I did a quick drive-by of Wally World to pick up some staples (cleaning products) and swung by Costco and made out like a bandit:

     1. One HUGE thing of grapes, which will maybe last me a week
     2. One HUGE thing of blueberries, which will again maybe last me a week
     3. A 12-pack of veggie burgers... with actual veggies in them
     4. A 2-pack of nonfat plain greek yogurt, both tubs being 32 ounces
     5. A tub of hummus
     6. A six-pack of romaine lettuce heads
     7. Clementines
     8. A huge thing of medjool dates, which work well for dessert for me
     9. A boat-load of tomatoes
     10. A big bag of broccoli, which will live in my freezer and be doled out as needed

SCORE. All of this cost me like $67, and most of it will last a couple weeks to a month, if not more. I know none of it is local, although the greek yogurt might be Cabot even though it says "Kirkland"... you never know.

You know what? I don't care. It's Effin' FEBRUARY in Vermont, and I'm jonzing for some fresh, healthy produce. I'll take what I can get.

And those grapes? HEAVEN.

Monday, February 6, 2012


Yesterday was my first day at work in a week. It was actually (thankfully) a light day. Only four massages, with only one that was a little - but not too! - deep.

I left work yesterday feeling really good.

That's when I realized that while my financial situation demands me doing five massages a day, five days a week, my body does not particularly like it.

Actually, it doesn't like it at all.

Which puts me in a bit of a conundrum. I mean, I can live on four massages a day, five days a week, but five/five really allows me to relax and not have to stress about my financial situation. Which is ironic, because instead of stressing about my financial situation, I'm stressing about work.

It's a lose-lose, isn't it?

Not sure what I'm going to do as yet, but it's a good realization to have. It gives me something to move forward with, something to work around.

We shall see...

Saturday, February 4, 2012

The End.

Of my vacation, that is. Tonight.


I really need another week. Or six. But as that is not currently economically feasible, hi ho! and all the jazz as of tomorrow morning.

It's been a great week. Spent all of Monday lounging and sleeping, which was badly needed. Tuesday I was out and about, and Wednesday and Thursday I was up at Mum's convincing her to buy a new car. Friday I came back home and lounged about a bit with The Boyfriend. Today I got out of my pj's exactly once. I went to the corner store to see if they had any nail polish remover. They didn't. On my way back home I took a short-cut that took me over the train tracks. I tripped over one of the tracks and did a total face plant. I took that as a sign from the Universe that I needed to be back home in my pj's bonding with Ezmerelda, so that's what I did.

Right now, I'm cooking myself a yummy, healthy dinner (chicken breasts, steamed broccoli and baked, homemade sweet potato fries). I'm kinda wishing I had some wine, but will settle with the last slice of german chocolate cake from The Boyfriend's birthday last weekend.

Yum! :-)

So.... You Want to be an Artist.

For the last several weeks, I have been working through The Artist's Way . This book has been out since the 1990's and I've been...