Monday, October 31, 2011

Birth Chart

It's Monday morning. In about 20 minutes, I'll be heading downstairs to help the Landlady with her mail. Although, I'm not hearing her move around down there. I might end up waking her up. She just had eye surgery last week and I always feel bad when I get her out of bed. For freaking mail.

So anyway, I'm playing around on the computer drinking my coffee when I think to myself: "Self, you should get your astrology chart done!" So I did. Astrolabe does a very quick, easy, and free one. I recommend it if you're at all curious. These are the highlights of what I got (the actual "report" is 3 pages long). FWIW, I'm a Taurus:

Rising Sign is in 20 Degrees Aries
You are a free spirit and you must be first at everything you do. Very energetic, self-assertive and active, things must be done your way. Even though you may feel calm and serene on the inside, you certainly do not act that way. You want to do everything full-tilt, 100 miles per hour! A great competitor, but a poor cooperator -- you must learn how to lose more gracefully. Very self-confident, ambitious and passionate, you radiate positive energy. You are blunt and direct, but at times unfeeling and tactless, especially if anyone offers you any resistance. You fight for your beliefs, but your tendency to act first and think later often causes you much grief.  I've always kind of wondered if I had any Aries in me, because, y'know, WOAH sometimes. This is a little too accurate!

Sun is in 20 Degrees Taurus.
You are known for being patient, slow moving and careful -- you love to prolong and savor enjoyable times. You appreciate and need comfort, ease and warm surroundings. Be careful of a tendency to become placid and self-satisfied and to overeat (especially sweets). You require strenuous situations in order to grow and mature properly, even though you try to avoid them. Affectionate, even-tempered and slow to anger -- when you do become emotionally upset, you are also slow to forgive and time must pass before your calm returns. You demand real results from any situation -- abstractions are very difficult for you to comprehend. Very artistic, your hands love to mold and shape things. You portray an earthy, physical sexiness that others find quite seductive.  
Yep, to just about all of it. 

Moon is in 17 Degrees Capricorn.
You are serious and shy and very uncomfortable in those situations where spontaneous and exuberant emotional reactions seem called for. An achiever, you prefer doing practical, worthwhile things that produce tangible results. You need role models to respect, love and emulate. You tend to feel that you're a failure unless you get an important and highly respected position in life. Don't be so hard on yourself! For you, practical needs always win out over emotional considerations. Remember that you too have the right to comfort, security and love. Dutiful and patient, when you make an emotional commitment, you sign on for the long haul -- your love is long- enduring.  
Oh, very much YEAH. 

Mercury is in 28 Degrees Taurus.
A slow and careful thinker, you like to present ideas visually and concretely. Abstractions are quite difficult for you to understand. For you, everything must be practical and useful in order to merit your attention. You are a perfectionist -- you enjoy being skillful enough to handle the dexterity required of fine craftsmanship. Cautious and conservative in your thinking, you are very slow to change your opinions. You are more apt to respond to an appeal to your feelings than to an appeal to logic or reason.  
Snigger... when I read that last sentence I immediately thought of my friend Alex, whom I continually frustrate with my continued disregard for logic and reason. Hi Alex!!!  

Venus is in 07 Degrees Aries.
You are a very affectionate person but you hate to be tied down. You are more than willing to be the aggressor in initiating new relationships. Indeed, once you have set your sights on someone, you tend to pursue him or her ardently and passionately. But you do demand your own way in a relationship. Try to give in to your partner's needs and desires once in a while.  
I dunno about this one... once I set my sights on someone I do pursue, but I'm not sure if I demand my own way in a relationship or not. I actually tend to lose myself in a relationship, giving up things and bending my own self to the needs of my partner and ignoring my own. Which kinda got me in trouble with the last one. Maybe I need to embrace my inner Venus at 7 degrees Aries!  

Skipping a couple...

Saturn is in 02 Degrees Cancer.
The most important issue for you is emotional security. You have a deep and gnawing fear that those on whom you depend for emotional support will prove to be unreliable in the long run. When you are unloved and insecure, you distrust others and tend to feel isolated and lonely. Very cool, detached and objective, you can be counted on -- in situations that are inherently stressful or full of tension -- not to lose your self- control. That is a great and welcome gift at such times.  Second sentence. Oh HELLS yeah. And it's played out in my life over and over... culminating in half my family dying off between 1999 and 2007. Still working my way through that one...

The rest of it talks about me as well as my "entire peer group" and my "entire generation". So if you want those, you should get it yourself. Don't make me do all of the work here. But again, they were pretty on.

So... it's now 20 minutes later and I still think she's asleep. I know she's forgotten that I'm supposed to help her with her mail. She usually does. I could get away with not doing it at all... bad me.

Off I go.

Sunday, October 23, 2011


Yesterday I was certified as an Usui Level 1 Reiki Practitioner. Or rather, I was attuned to level 1 so I can now use this first level of Reiki on... well... pretty much anyone and/or anything. I reiki'd my shampoo this morning. Apparently it's legit to do that. You can reiki your food too. Your coffee... pretty much anything you want to infuse with a little Universal Energy is up for grabs.

Personally, I like the idea of infusing my food with a little Universal Energy.

Today I put it in use for the first time with my clients. I also reiki'd my massage lotion. I feel like this is the tool I was missing. The Reiki, not the the lotion. I'm looking forward to eventually being attuned to Level 2 as well. I think it will only help.

I'm liking the Reiki, I've got to say!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Do you meditate?

If so, what does it look like for you? Is it the "traditional" version everyone thinks of - legs in lotus, hands in a mudra, Sitting silently?

Is your meditation a physical one? Do you find that place of peace and silence when you're on a walk? When running? When doing yoga?

Is yours an auditory experience? Do you listen to an album and just float away? Does "monkey-mind" silence as you float off on the chords?

Is yours a mindful one? Do you find peace while going about your daily chores? Is your moment of tranquility after a busy day the solace of doing the dishes? Cooking dinner? Making the beds each morning?

How do you find peace?

Saturday, October 15, 2011

It's not you...

... it's me.

You get out of something what you put into it.

If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.

All things for a reason.

I was giving a massage a few days ago and was struggling with the fact that no matter what I was doing, I was just not getting "through" to this particular client. When I finally realized I was essentially fighting with this person, I changed tactics. I realized that  the tension and holding this client was exhibiting was because - for whatever reason - it was working for them.

And almost as soon as I thought of that, I had this epiphany. As much as I may complain about various things in my life. Whatever has happened - where I am now, what I am experiencing - I placed myself in this position. The reason I cannot find my way out is because on some level, it's working for me.

I may have a job that keeps me on the edge of burnout, but I have a good weekend and I actually get holidays off. I may have a landlord about thisfar away from senility, but living here means I can stay by myself. No one can judge the way I decide to live my life. I may be alone, but this way no one can hurt me.

Again, all things for a reason.

So, if I keep saying this isn't working for me, but on some level it is, then I really need to start re-examining what is truly working for me, and what is keeping me in a safe, gilded prison.

Monday, October 10, 2011


1. Holy weekend, Batman! Busy from start to finish, but what a ride it was. My weekend is actually Friday and Saturday, and both were chocked full of events. Friday I spent a large portion of the day getting ready for Saturday, which was my friend Jay's wedding. Because the wedding was a solid 2.5 hours south of me, I pretty much needed to get a weekend's worth of errands done in one day, plus pull last minute details (like pantyhose and making the card) together.

The wedding on Saturday was amazing. One of the most fun I've ever been to, truth be told. It walked that perfect line between casual and elegant. The couple had the meet n' greet before the ceremony, so they "didn't get married in front of people they didn't know." Then the bride changed into a gorgeous retro-style dress and my brother married them. Apparently you can apply to marry people for a day in Vermont. He did a great job.

Then there was an 8-course meal that just kept coming... and coming... and coming... All of the dishes were fantastic! The dance party didn't start until nearly 10p, which unfortunately was the time I really needed to leave. I didn't finally get home until 12:45a, and I had to work on Sunday. Thank the Universe for coffee!

2. I have a shower again. Wallyworld had a hookup that I think is going to work. It's not made to be attached to the wall, but it sorta fits in the piece I have left over from the broken fake shower. So... we'll see how that works. It actually looks like it might hold together. Fingers crossed!

3. I have a set date for my Reiki 1 class. October 22nd. Very excited for it! I actually need to look into my National Certification to see if I can count it toward continuing education credits. I'm hoping you can apply to have a class count towards it even if the teacher doesn't offer it as such. I'm thinking it's kind of a long-shot since this is a money-making establishment and why offer someone CE credits if they or the teacher haven't paid to say "counts as National Association CE credits." Hope springs eternal, right?

4. That book I mentioned by Marianne Williamson is really helping. I ate out virtually every day last week. I mean, seriously - six out of seven days where one meal was either prepared in a restaurant or was an 8-course miracle. I only gained a pound. Actually, .8 of a pound. I was so thrilled I couldn't begin to tell you. I was sure I'd gained everything back.

I think the difference this time was that I was paying attention to my hunger cues. I may have eaten dinner out, but if I wasn't hungry by breakfast (and there were times I weren't), I didn't eat. I ate lighter the rest of the days because the evenings were heavy. I stopped when I was full. I did my best to order well and thoroughly enjoy what I was eating. Which meant I ate slower and realized I was full that much sooner.

I still had cake at the wedding (well, cake and a lemon bar. They had a selection of desserts from a fabulous bakery in town, with a small cake just for the bride and groom), but I enjoyed every bite and it was enough. I didn't go back for seconds. I didn't need to. Most of the courses were served family style, so if I wanted to make a pig out of myself, I could have. But I just had a little of everything. And it was enough to get a taste of delight and not feel stuffed and bloated for the loooong, dark ride home.

4. Laying low as much as possible today. I have to work my one evening shift tonight, so I'm trying to conserve energy as much as possible. After this past weekend, it's nice to not have to rush off anywhere.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Sigh... of course.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before (I probably have as I have like no filter here and a tendency toward verbal diarrhea), but I have no shower in my place. I have a full size tub, which is odd considering this is an efficiency and they could have made the bedroom a good 2 feet wider if they'd installed a shower stall instead of a tub but anyway.

Back in April I went to the local hardware store and bought this lovely little thing that went over the bathtub nozzle then attached to the wall at whatever height I wanted, essentially creating a shower. It wasn't the best in the world, but it did the job effectively and it was very nice to be able to take a shower and wash my hair.

It broke two days ago.

There's no way to fix it (the tubing as it attached to the "shower head" snapped clean in two and there is no way to jury-rig anything) and when I went to the store yesterday, they had no replacements. They didn't even have the original anymore. Filled with dread, I ended up purchasing something called a shampoo rinser, hoping that I could make it work with the shower attachment thingy on the wall, which is fine.

It's made for a sink.

It will NOT fit over the bathtub fixture, and it's an old fixture that's actually kind of small. I am so beyond not happy right now. Moreover, even though it was only like $8 to buy it, I don't have the original packaging or receipt so I can't even return it.

So as it stands now, if I want to wash my hair for, say... oh.... a WEDDING I'm going to later today, I have to take a bath and use the broken tube without a shower head to rinse the 'poo. And that will just work great I'm sure. I'm kind of hoping Wallyworld has something I can use (even though I hate shopping there), but there is no way I can get there and back and still be ready to leave for the wedding on time, which is a solid 2.5 hours away from me. So, for the next couple days, it's back to baths for me.

I so need a new apartment...

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I'm Really Sucking at this Updating Thing

I wish I had more to post... not much going on here.


My college roommate was in town this weekend for a conference. I did a lot of hanging out with her, which was great. We haven't seen each other in like 10 years, so it was great to catch up. Best of all, it was like we picked up right where we left off.  Friends For Life. Can't have too many of those!

Mostly it has been SSDD. Just keeping on keeping on. Still in my self-improvement phase. Although, I don't ever really seem to get out of that. But... I'll consider that a good thing. :-)

We're gearing up for several shows in a row again. We have one October 29th, another November 12th, and a third sometime in early December. For the first two, we'll be using the same songs as the shows are for different audiences but using the same themes (ie, dark gothy goodness). I'll be doing solos and group numbers at the first two, and just a group number in December. I think. It's actually kinda in the air. I'm pretty sure there's a show in December...

Hopefully will have something more interesting than this to post soon.

Oh and yeah. Cancer sucks. RIP Steve Jobs. You kinda sorta changed the world.

So.... You Want to be an Artist.

For the last several weeks, I have been working through The Artist's Way . This book has been out since the 1990's and I've been...