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Showing posts from August, 2011

Hurricane Irene

Well, I was wrong. Irene hit Vermont, and it was like she had some kind of grudge on our fair state. There is flooding and general devastation statewide at this point. I consider myself extraordinarily lucky that I did not lose power or have to evacuate. I know that if I were living a block or two away, that may have been different.

...and yes, that's a car floating down a river.

Irene Eve

Batten down the hatches, people!

To be honest, I am rather skeptical that my position in the northern half of the state is going to see the dire and destruction they are warning us to expect. After all, the only real difference I'm seeing between this and one of our Nor'easters is the fact it's rain instead of snow. Which, actually can be more destructive I guess because snow very seldom seeps into the basement causing water damage.

But still, I am torn between poo-pooing the whole matter and buying into the hype and stocking up like it's Y2K revisited.

Sigh. I'll probably buy a 6-pack of water and some canned fruit and call myself "prepared". To be honest, I'm more worried about the overly-tall, overly-whippy poplar tree outside my bedroom window. It has survived some pretty crazy weather thus far (there were time over the winter I was sure the wind would snap it), but if it comes through my bedroom window, any disaster preparedness would be a moot p…

First Push Forward

Yesterday I had my first date post-ex. It was just a coffee date, but it went well enough. Especially considering I got cold feet and didn't want to do it. But I followed through, so it's all uphill from here, right?

Riiiigggghhhttttt.

This was someone I met off OKCupid. Certainly nice enough and apparently I agreed to a second date. I dunno though. I just wish I could meet someone in person. Although I was talking about this exact thing with Cousin Chrissy last night and we have both come to the conclusion that we are "unapproachable" and it is not our fault. We are Morgans, you see. And our brand of Morgan Woman is... well... let's just say we don't make it easy for ourselves.

Yeah, we're a smart bunch.

So, apparently I need to work on making myself more approachable.

Wow... I really need a lot of work done. I'm like my car. Reach a certain point and things start needing replacing. Guess I'm lucky it's just my approachability and not my tran…

Interesting.

I need to stop saying that I'll "never" do something. Because whenever I say that, sooner or later I end up doing exactly that.

I'M NEVER GOING TO FIND MY LIFE PARTNER.

Watch that one be the one that doesn't work.

Anyway.

A few weeks ago I gave my cousin Chrissy a massage at her place. She kept asking me why I wasn't doing that as a business. Then today, I gave another massage to someone who got in touch with me through my yoga teacher. In lieu of payment I received some lovely fair-trade turquoise earrings and a handmade Indian scarf. The other day, my friend's sister asked if I wanted to do 20-minute massages as part of an integrative medicine workshop/conference/thingy next month, where I would have the opportunity to hobnob with many people working in alternative health fields. FUN.

The thing is, the more I do massages outside of my workplace, the more I'm enjoying them. As much as I'm getting burnt out giving massageaftermassageaftermassage i…

Dragging my feet, but...

It's been about a month and a half since I got that last text. Our relationship lasted approximately 3 1/2 months.

It's really time I pick myself up off the ground and move on.

I'm working on it, really I am. Trying to move forward even though deep down I'm still waiting for him to come to his senses and apologize. Or at least give me some kind of reason.

Yeah, probably never going to happen.

So, I've signed up for OKCupid. I was on there briefly on Thursday, got cold feet and took my profile down, then put it back up yesterday. The first couple dates are probably not going to go well at all. But like my cousin Chrissy says, I need to get back out there.

I gave my everything to someone who, for whatever reason, decided it either wasn't good enough or he simply didn't want it. I'll freely admit that I did not exactly put my best food forward once things started sliding. But what is done is done on both sides, and apparently it is for good. I don't th…

Moving On is Tough to Do

The other day I tried to get onto a dating site and maybe start the process of moving on. I lasted 24 hours on it before I realized that the idea of meeting anyone and talking to them in person made my heart just sink.

So... guessing I'm not ready for that.

Managed to get through all of yesterday though without crying once. Yay, me!

I'll get there. Sooner or later I'll get there.

Untitled

After the blackest midnight
comes the dawn
the first brightening
that gives hope
that warmth and light
are near at hand
But all I see is darkest night
No stars, no moon
no hope
that there is anything
to burn away the darkness
You were my light
my stars, my moon
my breaking dawn
You were my greatest hope
realized

Creating.

Image
I guess one of the good things to come out of this whole broohaha is that I've been creating again. I stopped for a long time - not really sure why. Didn't feel like it? Other things to do? Who knows?

My preferred method of creating lately seems to be collaging. There is something very cathartic about ripping up a magazine. Second to that is painting. I prefer acrylics, simply because I am lazy and they make painting (and cleaning up) easy. No turpentine for this gal.

Anyway, I thought I'd share them with you. I'm warning you, most of it is schlocky and obvious and would probably fail me out of art school. Also, the quality of the images is not the best, mainly because I have a very difficult time centering and leveling anything. Everything I do veers off to the left...just a little.

I guess I'll go with the ones that don't have anything to do with the break-up first:




The first two were the first attempts I made at collaging... back in late June, I think. The b…

So Effing Angry.

I had started to find a way to move on, to move past. The changing of the months represented something for me, a new beginning. I could finally start to let go of the pain and confusion and frustration that followed me through July.

But then you just had to go and flaunt your presence, didn't you? You HAD to know that if you rode your bike on the bike path, we'd see each other sooner or later. I'd already seen your brother twice. And can I say... awkward?

Once again I'm back where I was, left here stewing in my frustration and anger, knowing that you are a mere two blocks away and you don't care a fat rat's ass about how you continually hurt me.

You are REALLY not the man I thought you were. That man would never be this cruel.

Well, now THAT was unexpected...

(warning, I'm in a swear-y mood here...)

I decided to take a walk down to the waterfront today. I've been meaning to do that since I moved here, and I just never got around to it/was too lazy to go through with it. But I decided today was the day. It's a good 3 mile walk one way. I can take the bike path the entire way and it's a beautiful walk.

So, I slathered on as much sunscreen as I could manage, stuck a few dollars in my pocket so I could buy some water when I got there, and headed on out. I was halfway down to the waterfront - maybe not even - when guess who rides by on a bike? That's right...

HIM.

He who dumped me via text and still has yet to give me any reason why he decided our previously good relationship needed to end.

The fucker.

We definitely made eye contact, although with my hat low and my sunglasses covering half of my face, it was a crapshoot if he realized who I was until after he passed. I sure as hell recognized him. And boy was I shocked. What…

It's My Friday

:: Happy Dance! ::

Okay, so technically it is Thursday, but this is my last day of work for the week and I am HAPPY about it! It's a fully booked schedule with at least one client that is thoroughly going to test me in regards to my deep tissue abilities (you know, the abilities I believe I've lost and am feeling all self-conscious about).

But after that.... FREEDOM!

Not really anything major planned for the weekend, but I'm looking forward to it. Which is a nice change of pace. The St. John's Wort tea is working for me. I've been drinking a cup in the morning before work and again once I get home, and I definitely seem to be in a better mood. Been doing my best to eat minimal sugar and processed foods and to get outside and take a walk at some point during the day. It's all helping. Whether that's me projecting or everything actually working is up in the air. Frankly, I don't care which so long as I feel better.

For every day that I feel better, it is …

Yeah, So...

Kinda thinking I'm a little bit depressed here.

I know. You're all shocked.

But it really hit me this morning that maybe things aren't quite what they ought to be. Most of it is break-up related I know, and will fade with time. But it's something I need to watch to make sure it doesn't develop into anything more severe.

I'm positive it's not serious, or chronic, or anything like that. I think just the fact that I'm able to recognize and name it and do something about it on my own is pretty indicative that it isn't a permanent state for me.

I've gotten some St. John's Wort tea, and I'm going to be more careful in regards to what I eat: fruits, veggies, whole grains, minimally processed foods, and going to try harder to get myself moving at least once a day, even if its just a walk to the next block.

My friends have been a wonderful resource for me. They've been so helpful and understanding. Especially since they (and you!) are probabl…