Thursday, July 7, 2011

Just shoot me

Do you remember that old episode of the Simpsons where Bart's crush spurns him and he envisions her ripping his heart out and drop-kicking it out of the treehouse?

Feeling a little like that these days.

Boyfriend broke up with me on Sunday. This whole thing just feels off, and I'm not prepared to let go without a fight. Which is pretty much the hardest, most heart-wrenching, and possibly futile thing I've ever done. Still, I feel like I have to try. What we had was just so good, so right that this feels apropos of nothing. Like there's something else going on and I'm just stuck in the middle of it.

So, I've kinda of placed myself in a limbo right now. But really, how much of a limbo is it when you're being given the silent treatment? I can talk and reach out until my arm falls off, but if all I'm grabbing is air then am I really doing much good?

I don't know.

But I feel like giving up, just walking away, is the wrong thing to do. I have to try. God help me and my idiocy, but I have to try.

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