Monday, March 21, 2011

Well, Frak.

I've been on Weight Watchers for one week as of this morning. I've followed the plan - we'll ignore last night - and for the most part it's been easy to follow. Because this program doesn't allow for very active work days, I've been giving myself Activity "points" for massage work: one point per massage performed. Apparently I need to stop doing that. Because I lost a whopping .2 pounds this week.

Point fucking 2 pounds.

What the hell?

So, I'll try it again this week, without giving myself activity points for massages and hopefully I'll lose a whole .4 pounds next week. Or maybe even - and this is a pipe dream - a whopping HALF POUND.

I am trying to keep myself positive and tell myself that things are very different from the last time I lost weight on this program. First and foremost, the first time I used this program so effectively was a whopping 10 years ago. I was in my late 20's back then. The weight just slid off. Just the fact that I've been able to keep off most of the weight is a triumph in and of itself.

Secondly, I'm going to be 37 this year. I am officially -gulp- middle aged. Holy farking schnikey. So, I have to keep in mind that my metabolism is not what it used to be. I'm going to have to fight harder to lose each ounce and harder still to keep it off. Thirdly, I'm supposed to get my period in a couple days. I'm lucky I lost anything and didn't gain four pounds in water weight.

All things considered, I am in better shape now than when I was 10 years ago, both physically and mentally. Losing that weight was a catalyst for a lot of inner and outer changes that went on over the course of the last decade. It gave me confidence in myself that I didn't previously have and helped me to grow into the person I've become.

And you know, despite the fact that I want to lose 5.4 pounds, I still look pretty damned good for my age.

And that's something.

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