Monday, June 28, 2010

Woah, Nellie!

I've been a busy girl since I last posted.

I am now officially on vacation. One whole, glorious week where I can do as much or as little as I wish. It is GLORIOUS. This morning I got my internet up and running (12 hours without - I almost died), then took a nice walk along the bike path. Stopped at two different beaches and read, listened, and watched. Meandered home. Then my bod, in its infinite wisdom, decided at 4pm that it was time to just stopped.

So I did.

What a luxury it is to be able to listen to my body when She speaks! The poor thing probably didn't expect me to listen, as I haven't been able to for the last almost year. I think She was getting pretty desperate (if that bout of bronchitis last month was any indication). So, I spent the afternoon and evening just lounging about and reading.

Saturday was a very busy day for me - I spent the morning moving and the evening performing. Phew! Need to stop doing that. The move was quick and easy since I had most of the stuff I could move myself already in the new place. I just needed help with the furniture. Anyway, it's all in now, and most things have found a place, however temporary. I really need to put my clothes away though. They're taking up a LOT of extra space on this bedroom floor.

The performance Saturday evening went very well. It was a benefit for DragonHeart VT. We raised over $200 for them. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad I participated - even if I don't particularly remember what I did for my piece. Ugh. I shudder to see the video.

Anyway. Resting up for the next couple days, then off to see friend Alex in Florida for a few days. Going to the beach and Harry Potter at Universal Studios. Wish us luck, I think we'll need it!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hijinks!

Hijinks Ahoy!

Okay, so not really.

But, news!

On Monday I had two - count 'em - two interviews. The first (a morning one) was for a massage therapist position. The second (an afternoon interview) was for a marketing position within the admin offices of my current salon.

I was offered both jobs that same day.

Who the hell does that ever happen to? Especially in this economy. Sure as hell not me. Although apparently that's no longer true.

So I had a choice to make. I could either move forward and utilize all the training I'd spent the past nine months killing myself for, or I could return to a desk job, complete with benefits, security, and a skill-set I'd spent 10 years honing.

I accepted the massage therapy job.

I thought it rather amusing that the Universe was presenting me with a choice: what was and what could be. What I chose would literally redefine my life, for better or worse. I make cracks about the Universe having a warped sense of humor, but then it goes and does something like this and you realize that it really is all for a reason. Everything that's happened in your life has brought you to this moment, now. I was brought to this moment, this decision, and everything is changing.

I am so excited I can't stand it!!!

Monday, June 21, 2010

A Poem.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had my hair
One day, Fuzzy had enough
And had the whole lot
Shaved right off.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Confession

Forgive me, blogosphere, for I have sinned.

I have been eating cheese.

(ducks and covers as vegan police knock down the door).

Cringe.

Okay, so I should probably explain myself. I had a bit of an emotional breakdown earlier this week. Doing much better now to be sure, but I was in a pretty dark place earlier and I was stressed, tired, and had pretty much reached my breaking point. So, in a fit of weakness, I indulged in Doritos and real Amy's frozen pizza.

It tasted amazing.

I kept waiting for my body to retaliate against all the dairy. I'd always heard other vegans say that their body throws a digestive hissy-fit when they accidently eat dairy after not eating it for so long. I almost wanted my insides to say "what the heck are you thinking?!? Get this crap away from me!" I wanted to be punished for eating it, so I would have a tangible reason for quitting it for good.

But they didn't. I didn't have any adverse reactions whatsoever. In fact, my poor tastebuds stood up and said "well, it's about frackin' time!" Which really made me start to think. I mean, I know all the reasons for not eating dairy, both for my health, for the planet, and for the animals. And yet.

When I think about eating meat again, I feel horribly guilty. I honestly don't think I could ever do it again. But for some bizarre reason, when it comes to cheese, yogurt, and ice cream I just don't have that reaction. Maybe it's because I live in a dairy state - a small state with mostly small family farms that treat their cows well. Maybe it's because I grew up going into my cousin's barn and laughing while the calves licked the salt of my arms, staring at me with their big calf eyes. You'd think that would be reason enough to send me back to vegan. But I suppose I saw a different side of the industry - a side where each and every animal was valued. Because the herds were so small, each one mattered; each one was needed and not easily or cheaply replaced.

So, for now I'm back on dairy. I'm going to do my best to buy local, small farm when possible and my budget allows. I'm not going to go crazy with my cheese eating, because I know too much is bad for the ol' arteries. I will probably not ever go back to milk, mainly because I don't like the taste. I am going back to calling myself vegetarian, because that is the reality. This may be a temporary thing; it may be permanent. I don't know.

All I know is that this is me, now. And I thought honesty is the best policy.

Monday, June 14, 2010

One Down, One to Go

I officially have an apartment. I'm going to go drop off the deposit/first month's rent either today or tomorrow. I am so very thankful that this, at least, has not fallen through. It's a tiny, tiny efficiency that just happens to have a bed room. I'll be giving away quite a bit to GoodWill and my mom has graciously said I could store stuff at her house. I'll be pared down to the basics.

But I will have a place of my own.

That, really, is key. I'll have my own space and I won't have to cater to anyone but me. I'll be able to live how I want to live, and live there for as long as I wish.

It's going to be dear. I've been fudging my budget lately, but that needs to stop. Especially since no one will be splitting the bills with me any longer. I'm definitely going to have to reign in my grocery shopping habit.

But it's mine.

Now, to just get a job that pays more than $8.50/hr....

Friday, June 11, 2010

Dejected.

Or rather, rejected.

I didn't get the job I wanted. Quite a bit disappointed in that, as it seemed like a good fit and that I could have learned a lot there. They way they informed me was rather rude too, which surprised me as neither of them seemed the type to leave a message with that kind of tone and lack of tact.

But anyway.

So, I'm still seeking. And feeling rather dejected that I keep getting to that last little bit and for whatever reason not getting to where I want to be. Yes, yes, I know it wasn't the right place and blah blah blah.

Sigh.

Why can't anything ever be easy?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

An Open Letter to the Icky

Dear Creepy People,

Please stop leaving comments on my blog. I have this set up so they have to be okayed by me personally before they show up online.

So, basically I know that you have a link to a hot asian girls website embedded in all of those ellipses. No, I am not going to accept it to be published.

And trust me, my readers (all five of them) really aren't interested anyway. You're better off reaching your target market another way.

So sorry,
The Management

Monday, June 7, 2010

Graduation

Yesterday I officially became a massage therapist.


So.... now what?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

School's Out... Forever!

Today is my last day of school.

YA-HOOOOO!!!!!


Not that I'm happy or anything. ;-)

These last nine months have been intense. Even though they've sped by, September seems like a lifetime ago. I was a different person in so many ways back then. There were times where I wasn't sure I would make it. There were times when I thought the Universe was trying to see just how much it could throw at me before I broke.

I have learned so much these last nine months. Yeah, sure I've learned massage technique and anatomy and physiology. But I've learned a lot about myself too. I've learned:

  • That I'm stronger than I thought I was
  • That it's okay to say what you need, when you need it
  • That it's okay to let go
  • That if you don't ask, the answer will always be no
  • That sometimes the answer is no regardless of the way you ask. And that's okay too.
  • That I am worth it.
  • It's okay to be good at what you do! And it's okay to do it differently. It's no less good, just different.
  • That Unconditional Positive Regard is rarer than it should be, and that unconditional acceptance for who you are is a gift.
I've learned so much more than this, things that are too difficult to put down into words. I am so thankful for my time here at this school. I literally would not be the person I am today if I hadn't enrolled. I am a much happier, healthier (ignore the cough, please), lighter person than I was nine months ago.

I look to the future, and I see a big white light full of possibility.

Namaste. 


Today, You are Ten

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