Showing posts from November, 2009

Any Way the Wind Blows....

Happy Thanksgiving!

What's Important To You?

This morning's class was "group dynamics." This can take on a lot of different shapes, but generally speaking it's about us getting more in touch with the things that make us tick and how we can use our knowledge to be better therapists to our clients.
One of the exercises today was pairing up with another classmate and asking the questions "what's important to you?" and "why?". Then we paired up with another classmate and asked "What do you care about?" and "why?". At one point one of my answers to "what's important to you?" was, of course, family. When the follow-up questions "why?" was put forth, I replied "because I've had so many drop dead on me that I have to hold tight to the ones that are left."
Frankly, I was a little surprised that I'd said that out loud, but it was the truth. Family is more important to me than ever. Ironically enough, however, I didn't start missi…

As It Silently Slips Away

Friends are the family you choose as opposed to the family you were born into. They are the ones who keep you sane in an otherwise crazy world. When there is no one left to turn to, there is always a friend. They laugh with you, cry with you, tell you to stop being a dumbass, that yes those pants really do make you look fat, and no you shouldn't be dating him (however fine his ass may be).
It would seem that I've been recently "laid off" by an old high school friend. I think the reality is that the friendship ran its course a long time ago. Time and distance have a way of severing ties like nothing else. You can hold on and hold on to those frazzled ends, but eventually those frayed ends snap. Sometimes it snaps badly, leaving both ends tending raw wounds that never heal; sometimes it just unravels quietly, leaving you to think "I wonder how so-and-so is doing these days?" at random moments.
I think part of the problem was that on some level, we saw each othe…


Well, lookie here. Two posts in one day. Aren't you all lucky?
After the horrendous start to the morning resolved itself and I got on with my day, I really started thinking about a few things, and I came to a conclusion. I cannot do everything I have given myself to do. I literally do not have the time in my life to go to school, work, do the homework, cook and do laundry, sleep, clean and dance.
Cleaning was the first to go.
Okay, so it was never really there to begin with.
All I know is that I cannot dedicate as much time to doing a quality job on my schoolwork as I would like. To do so, I'd have to either give up cooking my own food, dancing, cut back on my hours at work, or figure out a way to cram in all my schoolwork and stop whining.
I can't afford to give up cooking my own food; vegan prepared foods are generally too expensive. I REFUSE to give up the dancing - it is only two hours a week and it's the only thing keeping me sane. I can't cut hours at work…

Whoever Said Today Wasn't Monday Was Lying

Okay, so today was a class day. I'm up, I've eaten breakfast, I've trolled the interweb, I'm dressed. I'm on time!!! Yay, me! There was a hard-ass quiz today and I wanted to make sure that I got myself there on time and settled before being eviscerated taking the quiz.
I walk out the door with all my class stuff, get two steps, and realize something. I do not have my keys. They are still in my apartment, safely locked away from those who would do bad and naughty things with them. Like drive to school.
So I walk down to the office, prepared to just rush into school, barely making it. Get a spare key, walk back to my apartment and go to open the door.
The key does not work.
I drop all my crap at this point and sprint back to the office, out of breath and gasping "the key doesn't work." They are confuzzled, but send a maintenance guy to open the door for me. Takes him five seconds, if that.
I ended up being like 15 minutes late, and people were alre…

Permit Me a Brief Whine.

I love my life right now. I'm enjoying learning new things, meeting new people, and just my job in general. I feel a general positivity I haven't felt in a very long time.
That being said, there are a few things I'm missing right now...
1. Weekends: I have 7.5 months left before I can start having them again.
2. Learning at my own pace: My brain is on overload. I would very much like to spend one afternoon reading a Nora Roberts book instead of the Trail Guide to the Body.
3. Going out with friends
4. Going to the movies
5. Yoga: I haven't had the time to go to a class since I started school. I'm looking forward to having some time soon to go again!
6. The Food Network: I got rid of all but basic cable and internet when I took my part-time job. Nigella, Giada, Alton, Paula, Ina ... I miss youse guys!
7. Taking a three day weekend and visiting friends not in the State: I've had to turn down several invites, including one that was a mere 2 hours a way in Montreal and an…

...and GO.

So the transition to veganism is going pretty good so far. The food I couldn't eat was given to a friend whose family (three teenagers) eats pretty much anything not nailed down. I got rid of my leather belly dancing top to one of my troupe members. I have a pile of shoes and purses that need to go to GoodWill. I need to finish going through my clothes. Those all seem to be either cotton or some kind of poly blend; so far I'm only getting rid of two things. I'm sure that will change though.
I'm on the fence about some blankets I have. First off, I should say I am a blanket whore. there is a running joke in my family about me being the Princess in the Princess and the Pea story, except I sleep under a ton of blankets instead of on top of a ton of mattresses. I will not lie - I have a veritable collections of blankets stuffed everywhere. I freely admit this is an odd addiction, but in my defense winters in Vermont are friggin' COLD and I haven't actually bought a …

Well, what do you know?

I think I'm officially transitioning to veganism.
It's going to take a bit, but here is what I'm coming up with...
Shoes: surprisingly, the majority are already vegan. Yay, me! Well, the one's I've checked, anyway. I don't really wear any of them anyway, so giving them away isn't all that painful. My work shoes (hostess shoes since I stand all day) and my favorite euro trainers are not. As I am a poor student, I am for the time being going to use them up and replace them with vegan alternatives when they bite the dust.
Food: A bit trickier. I am giving a bunch of food I cannot bear to eat (mostly Kitchens of India stuff: very delicious but all the ones I have include dairy) to a good home. The homemade frozen pizzas I cannot bear to not eat, given my blood, sweat and money that went into making them. So, I am finishing them up and I'll replace them with vegan varieties the next time I make pizza. I also have about half a huge tub of Earth Balance (veg, not…

On Cheese.

Okay, so not really. Vermont has a great independent paper called Seven Days, and this was out in the latest issue:Grand Isle Slaughterhouse Closed Following Charges of Inhumane Treatment
For some reason, I always kind of thought Vermont was immune to this kind of thing. I talked myself into believing the Vermont dairy products were okay because the product was local and for the most part, accessible. You see dairy farms all over the place, but there are only a couple factory farms - the state is just too small to house them, for the most part.
But cruelty is cruelty and it can happen anywhere.
So why, why, why am I still eating dairy? Why am I still eating eggs? The few excuses I have are poor and self-centered. Because it tastes good; because when I go out to restaurants I want to be able to eat something.
Yeah, well. Is my comfort worth the price that poor calf paid? That any animal pays? No.
So, what? Throw out all the dairy products, and get rid of all my leather shoes? Um yeah, no. …


I am discovering this evening that I still have some anger and hostility built up regarding something I'm going to be rather vague about. So, I apologize in advance to my few wonderful readers who have no idea what's going on.
It's been three months. Three quiet, blissful months where I'd found my happiness. Three months where I'd thought I'd let go of everything and moved on. And then....
The Call. The one that tries to suck you back in to the craziness. The one that, as you listen to it, sucks you right back to where you were a year ago and all the frustration and anger comes back like it never left.
The odd thing is, I'm still not entirely sure how to go about dispelling these feelings of anger and resentment. They built up for two years and dragged me further down than I realized at the time. I was in a terrible place and it was affecting every aspect of my life. I truly didn't realize until after I'd left. This tremendous weight had been lifted of…

You Know What Would Be Fun?

Breathing would be fun. Oh yes it would. So would getting rid of this stoopid sinus headache. Because I know if I got rid of one the other would follow suit.
I am not sick, but I certainly ain't well. And this has been going on for at least a week and a half now. Just well enough to function like a normal human being, just off enough to be annoying.