Saturday, May 30, 2009

This One's for the Fellas.

Okay, I highly doubt there are any guys reading this, but if you are you might find this helpful. It's called "What to do/don't do on a first date."

1. If you're going out to eat and your date asks if this place is okay with you, DON'T say "I don't care." If she asks you if you'd rather sit inside or out, DON'T say "I don't care." We want you to have an opinion. Heck, we want to know that at some point in time you will be able to make a decision and we will not always have to do it for you. 

2. DO ask her questions about her life. Girls like to talk. A good date will also ask similar questions to you. DO NOT spend half of the date talking about your job, unless you have a cool job with lots of exciting stories. Lion tamers have a cool job with exciting stories. Computer technicians do not.

3. DO NOT, and mean do NOT, spend the other half of your lunch date talking about your ex. It's fine if you say you have one; we all do. But save the sob story for when you get a bit more serious about the relationship. And please please please DO NOT tell us how spoiled she is and that you let her move back in to your house and you're sleeping in the basement now. Do you hear how sad and pathetic that sounds? Would that impress you? Didn't think so.  

4. If you're recently out of a relationship, DO consider waiting until you are actually ready to date. Anyone who can talk about nothing but his/her ex is not ready to date. There is nothing a girl hates more than to find someone she truly likes, only to have him tell her "oh, I'm not ready for a relationship." Then why the hell am I wasting this push up bra on you?

5.  This will sound old-fashioned, but on the first date, DO at least offer to pay. Especially if it is a lunch date and the total is $15. If the girl insists on going dutch then no biggie. But to not even offer indicates that you are cheap. Especially when you whip out a $20 then take the girl's $10 for "her half." If you can't afford $15 for two people, then you should have spoken up when she asked you if this restaurant was okay. 

Okay, I know this sounds kinda bitchy and this obviously comes from a personal experience. That I had today. At lunch. But come ON. These are all fairly obvious things! Just follow these five simple guidelines, and provided you don't have hair coming out your ears and smell bad, you should at least get a second date. 

Obviously, this guy won't.

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