The problem with losing so much weight is that, for the rest of your life, you're battling with yourself to keep it off. Ingrained habits are hard to break. I got fat for a reason. If I were to let myself, I'd probably get fat again. I am a volume eater. I can pack away a lot of food for someone my size. In all honesty, I think on some level I went vegetarian simply because I could eat more without necessarily gaining weight. I mean, I did go veg for health reasons - far too many people in my family have died of heart attacks for me not to take it seriously. But because I eat a lot of whole foods - grains, fruit, veggies, beans - it allows me to get my quantity without having to worry about the quality.
The problem is... I've been stressing out lately. Work has been insanely busy, and it's all I can do to keep my head above water, let alone make any dents in my piles. Which is fine, it's better than being bored. Unfortunately, I've been reverting to bad old habits. Diet sodas every day, bags of goldfish 3/4 gone without realizing it, chips, multiple helpings of dinner despite being full, peanut butter sandwiches before bed when I'm not hungry... it's a steep slope I'm teetering on and the slightest breeze is going to put me back where I vowed I'd never be again. Just because I'm bingeing on better quality food does not mean it'll make me any less fat if I eat too much of it.
I know what I need to do to change. I know that there are greater issues at play that are driving me to turn to food as comfort, and that stress is only one part of it. I know I need to reconnect with the things that make me feel better, calmer, more relaxed. I know that the food may be filling a void, but it's the wrong one that's being filled. I know all this. I just need to act on it.
Somehow, that last bit is always the hardest, isn't it?